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Kim:
He also said that he wants to see two women kiss.
Sugar:
Dirty bastard. I love him.
[she pulls Kim in and kisses her]
Kim:
It's the 21st Century - a 15-year-old using a toothbrush to masturbate over her best friend shouldn't be that big a deal.
Kim:
She's not gay and I don't want to be.
Stella:
Teenage girls are so clued up these days.
Sugar:
That's because you adults are so full of shit!
Matt:
I hope your pubes turn ginger.
Kim:
So I'm a 15-year-old queer virgin and my mum's a whore, and she's so scared I'll tell my dad she's trying to be my best friend.
Kim:
We walk around pretending we're in a Disney movie when really it's a gangster porn flick.
Kim:
There's this girl, Sugar, who I like, I really like. I suppose you could say I'm obsessed, and basically if I don't shag her soon I'm going to explode, so I thought heavy narcotics might ease things on a bit.
Kim:
It's amazing the things you do when you're a fucked-up teenager. Adolescents are hormonally insane.
Kim:
Just when you thought life couldn't get any worse you're a virgin with a sexually transmitted disease!
Sugar:
He is the first person to ever make me come!
Kim:
It was the first day of the rest of my life. I was no longer going to be shat on.
Kim:
I was so busy telling everyone what everyone else thought I forgot to tell them both to sod off!
Sugar:
He gave me a multiple orgasm, I think I know him well enough!
Sugar:
[on phone sex] You have to do all the hard work yourself!
Sugar:
I bet he'll be with some stupid French bird with hairy armpits, garlic breath and giving him a crap blowjob!
Sugar:
I remember he held back my hair.
[Kim looks confused]
Sugar:
[matter-of-factly] I was puking.
Sugar:
Dyke!
Kim:
Slapper!
Sugar:
Rug-muncher!
Kim:
Slut!
Sugar:
I'm not wanting someone to sit and watch movies with. I'm looking for someone to fuck!
Kim:
Tonight was different. Tonight I was living the dream. I was buying my girlfriend a drink and nothing could stop me.
Kim:
What's the male version of a prick-tease?
Tom:
A twat-tease?
Kim:
So, Sugar figured out I'm a rug-muncher.
Kim:
[praying] Dear God, please stop me perving over Sugar and help me find me a fit guy to perv over instead. Or if it turns out you're OK with the whole same-sex thing, then stop Sugar messing me about and help her find her way into my bed.
Kim:
Fantasizing during my first time? I'm sure they don't tell you to do that in Cosmo-Girl.
Sugar:
You must have some tricks up your sleeve. How else are you going to make up for the fact that there's no cock?
Sugar:
Ugh. Now are you sure this is a proper champagne? 'Cause it is dry as fuck.
Kim:
It's supposed to be. It's prized for its dryness. It's an acquired taste.
Sugar:
Nah, they probably got some sugar for this.
Kim:
You can't put sugar in champagne!
Sugar:
Excuse me, you can put a little sugar in anything.
Kim:
So that's how it is then? You call, I come running. You say jump, I say how high? Translating for French guys, spending my mum's credit card when you could be with someone else. Name something you've done for me. One thing. One SODDING thing.
Tom:
[Indicating Kim as she walks by] I've had her.
[pause]
Tom:
And her girlfriend.
Nathan:
Right, uh... Matt, we should talk about these.
[holds up a pair of women's underwear Matt has worn]
Matt:
What about them?
Nathan:
Your mother and I were just a bit worried, thats all. You do know they are for girls, don't you?
Matt:
[correcting him] Women's actually.
Nathan:
Exactly, they're for women and not for men. Like you and me.
Matt:
What? I like them.
Nathan:
I'm sorry, Matt, you can't wear them.
Matt:
Its not fair. I don't dodge you for being a swinger.
Kim:
You came looking for me the other night. After I did what I did you still came and took me to the hospital.
Saint:
I never said I was smart.
Kim:
You can stay, okay?
Sugar:
I don't want your charity.
Kim:
Thats not what I'm offering. Look Sugar, you're a liar, you use me whenever it suits you, you steal, you get jealous of everyone I get close to which makes you a complete nutter... but I don't know what I'd do without you.
Kim:
You ever think about what would have happened if you haven't been taken away?
Sugar:
Sometimes.
Kim:
And?
Sugar:
Kim, we have our moments together but most of the time we annoy the fuck out of each other. Saint's great for you. It simply makes sense and you know it. Besides... It'll never top the night we did have. I'll still be thinking about that one when I'm shuffling around in my incontentenant pants, thats if I don't have alzheimer's.
[repeated line]
Sugar:
Don't worry, I mean it this time!
Kim:
[narrating] There's always time for talk.
Saint:
Kim, there's something else I need to tell you You hog the duvet and you snore. Your hands are cold when you...
Kim:
[covers Saint's mouth, narrating] Then there's always time for something else.
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