King Neptune:
You there, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days.
Patrick Star:
He can do it in nine.
King Neptune:
Eight.
Patrick Star:
seven.
King Neptune:
Six
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Patrick!
King Neptune:
Six it is then.
Patrick Star:
Five?
[while being choked by Mr Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Patrick, shoosh!
Sheldon J. Plankton:
His chops are too righteous!
Plankton:
His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll. Karen, do something.
Karen the Computer:
[Karen is being surfboard across the the Krusty Krab] Weeeee!
Plankton:
Karen?
Mrs. Puff:
We paid nine dollars for this?
Sandy Cheeks:
I paid ten!
Mindy:
With my mermaid magic, I'll turn you into men.
Seahorses:
[in seahorse language] Mermaid Magic?
Mindy:
Shhh!
Captain Bart the Pirate:
I never thought I'd see it with me own eye.
[Reaches into treasure chest]
Captain Bart the Pirate:
Tickets to the SpongeBob Movie!
Dennis:
Finally.
[cracks knuckles]
Dennis:
I got you right where I want you.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Can I help you with something, sir?
Dennis:
Name's Dennis. I've been hired to exterminate you.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
You're gonna exterminate us?
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other, then burst out in laughter before wiping their tears]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Listen, Junior. You caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
Dennis:
You mea
ffa
n these?
[grabs the seaweed mustaches off SpongeBob and Patrick's faces]
Dennis:
I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime.
[Throws mustaches as SpongeBob and Patrick's eyes bulge at the sight of them]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
They were fake?
Dennis:
Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like.
[Pulls face mask off, grunts to sprout mustach from his upper lip]
Patrick Star:
Is he a mermaid?
Dennis:
All right. Enough gab.
[approaches SpongeBob and Patrick, who are trembling in fear]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
What are you gonna do to us?
Dennis:
Plankton was very specific.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Plankton?
Dennis:
For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.
Patrick Star:
Step on us?
Dennis:
Yeah! That way, you'll never find out that he stole the crown!
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other]
Dennis:
Uhh, perhaps I've said too much.
[extends spikes from the soles of his boots. SpongeBob and Patrick tremble in fear as Dennis positions his boot above them]
Patrick Star:
That's a big boot.
Dennis:
Don't worry. This'll only hurt a lot!
[laughs]
Dennis:
I love this job!
[Continues to laugh, only to be crushed by a bigger boot]
Patrick Star:
Bigger boot!
[tries to run away]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Wait, Pat! This bigger boot saved our lives.
Patrick Star:
Yay!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
Thank you, stranger!
Captain Bart the Pirate:
You know, David Hasselhoff was a great artist.
Usher:
Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart the Pirate:
What?
[Pulls out sword]
Captain Bart the Pirate:
Say that again, if you dare!
Usher:
You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart the Pirate:
[pauses, then sobs] Okay.
[the pirates leave the theatre as the Usher continues to sweep the floor]
Squidward Tentacles:
Chum Bucket? Free? Kabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
We're gonna party till we're purple.
Patrick Star:
I love being purple!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
We're going to the place where all the action is.
Patrick Star:
You don't mean...?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Oh, I mean.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
Goofy Goobers Ice Cream Party Boat!
34
SpongeBob SquarePants
ffb
, Patrick Star:
Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah You're a Goofy Goober, yeah We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah Goofy, goofy, Goober, goober, yeah!
Plankton:
Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet... from A to Y!
Karen the Computer:
A to Y?
Plankton:
Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
Karen the Computer:
What about Z?
Plankton:
Z?
Karen the Computer:
Z... The letter after Y...
Plankton:
W, X, Y... Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
Karen the Computer:
Oh, boy.
Plankton:
It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemom-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!
Plankton:
I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank - !
Old Lady:
NuckleHead McSpazatron!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
I'm ready. Depression.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Get it together old boy.
Patrick Star:
Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid.
Waiter:
Here's your Goober Meal, sir.
Patrick Star:
I'm supposed to get a toy with this.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
All right folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world: Patric and this big peanut guy. It's a little ditty called..."WAITER!"
King Neptune:
Have this pole executed at once.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
I am 100-percent man! And this man has got something to say to you.
[blows Mr. Krabs a long raspberry]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
I think I made my point.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Plankton:
Plan Z. I love you!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
For your information, we are not kids, we are men.
Plankton:
Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby.
Patrick Star:
Can I have everybody's attention?... I have to use the bathroom.
Men in bar:
All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar
Squidward Tentacles:
Too bad SpongeBob's not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.
Patrick Star:
It's some kind of wall of psychic energy.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
No, Pat, it's a giant glass bowl.
Squidward Tentacles:
So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh Plankton?
Plankton:
That's right, Squidward, and there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
Squidward Tentacles:
No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
Plankton:
And what's that supposed to mean?
Squidward Tentacles:
It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby paws on the Krabby Patty formula. It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck and I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!
Plankton:
We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips.
[Plankton laughs and he presses a button on Karen]
Karen the Computer:
Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
Squidward Tentacles:
Huh?
[Mr. Krabs is marking up the prices for King Neptune]
Squidward Tentacles:
One-hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
With cheese, Mr. Squidward. With cheese.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
King Neptune:
You don't understand. The crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And, uh, between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Oh, Your Majesty, I'm sure it's not that noticea...
[Sees Neptune's bald head]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd:
Bald! Bald! Bald!
Fish:
My eyes!
King Neptune:
All right, all right!
Gas Station Attendant:
You two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.
[They drive over the line; a thug stops them]
Thug:
Out of the car, fellas.
[Thug drives off with Patty Wagon]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
How many seconds was that?
Gas Station Attendant:
Twelve.
Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants:
In your face!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Feast your eyes, Patrick.
Patrick Star:
What is it?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features: Sesame seed finish; steel-belted pickles; grilled leather interior; and under the hood, a fuel-injected French fryer with dual overhead grease traps.
Patrick Star:
Wow.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Yeah. Wow.
King Neptune:
You have confessed to the crime of touching the royal crown.
Royal Crown Polisher:
Yes, but...
King Neptune:
But what?
Royal Crown Polisher:
I have to. I'm the royal crown polisher.
King Neptune:
4d
Well, I suppose I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is!
fd8
Squidward Tentacles:
I listen to public radio.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
We should be there in one more verse.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
[singing] Now that we're men...
Dennis:
[interrupting the singing] Finally!
Old Lady:
Come on kiddies, have some icecream. I'll even let you pet Mr. Whiskers.
Patrick Star:
Nevermind the car, where's the road, road, road ,road, road, road, road, road, roa... sorry.
Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants:
[after finding their car finally, they both say in a high voice] Ah!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[the diver's boot floats onto Hasselhoff's leg. From the bottom, Dennis emerges] Ah! Dennis!
Dennis:
Did you miss me?
Dennis:
[about to step on Spongebob and Patrick] That's *it*! I'm through with messing around! See ya later fools!
Patrick Star:
[Dennis suddenly collides with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean] See ya.
[First Lines]
Bonesy the Pirate:
I got it!
[Last Lines]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[to squidward] Are you crazy? I was just gonna say that your fly is down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my life!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Take it easy, friend, I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be juust fine.
Phil:
I'm really scared here, man.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
You got a name?
Phil:
Phil
SpongeBob SquarePants:
You got a family Phil?
Phil:
[can't speak, too scared]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[snapping his fingers] Come on Phil, stay with me, lets hear about that family!
Phil:
I got a wife, and two bautiful children
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Thats what it's all about. I want you to do me a favour Phil.
Phil:
What?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Say cheese.
[Slowly places the cheese in the Krabby Patty while a sound like a heartrate monitor starts speeding up in the backround]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[after coming out of the Krusty Krab restaurant with the now smiling Phil holding a KRabby Patty with cheese] Order Up!
Sheldon J. Plankton:
[as the brain controlled fish capture Squidward, Plankton shouts] Hahahaha! Who can stop me now? Hahaha! Who?
2b
Patrick Star
fe7
:
I LOVE BEING PURPLE!
Squidward Tentacles:
Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
[mumbling] ... jackass...
[more mumbling]
Gary:
[under Plankton's power] Meow... Plankton.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Who are you?
David Hasselhoff:
I'm David Hasselhoff!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
[together] HOORAY!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Oh, no, how will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?
David Hasselhoff:
I can take you there.
[Hasselhoff comes running up in slow motion]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Who are you?
David Hasselhoff:
I'm David Hasselhoff.
Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants:
Hooray!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
So, uh, where's your boat?
David Hasselhoff:
Boat?
[laughs]
Mindy:
[after getting SpongeBob's and Patrick's moustaches] So, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
[are intrigued by moustaches and weren't listening to Mindy]
Mindy:
Guys!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
Yeah?
Mindy:
I said, "Now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
Heck, yeah!
Mindy:
Are men afraid of anything?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
Heck, no!
Mindy:
And why?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star:
Because we're invincible!
[both jump off cliff]
Mindy:
[calling after them] I never said that!
Patrick Star:
SpongeBob, what happened?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Plankton cheated.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Go the Hasslehoff!
Patrick Star:
Next stop Bikini Bottom!
Plankton:
By tomorrow, I will RULE THE WORLD!
[evil laughing]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Well, good luck with that!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[after Mindy turns Patrick and Spongebob into men] I don't feel anything differ... oh my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache!
2b
Patrick Star
ffb
:
So do you!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
[King Neptune sets Mr. Krabs on fire] My pants are on fire!... My underwear is on fire!... *I'm on fire!*
Patrick Star:
Did you see my butt?
Sheldon J. Plankton:
No breaks! This monument to my glory isn't going to build itself! Faster!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Open your eyes, man! We blow bubbles. We eat ice-cream. We worship a dancing peanut, for corn's sake! Face it, we're just kids.
Patrick Star:
We don't worship him.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
You've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Party underpants for three years straight. What do you call that?
Patrick Star:
[Crying] Worship. You're right, SpongeBob! We are kids!
Patrick Star:
Did you see my underwear?
Mindy:
No Patrick.
Patrick Star:
Did you want to?
Patrick Star:
[Flies in naked with a parachute] Lets hear it for SPONGEBOB!
[Everyone runs away]
Patrick Star:
Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did i miss something? Did you see my butt?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
how many seconds was that?
Gas Station Attendant:
12.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
in your face!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Yeah OWW! Yeh woo! Yeah OOW... shhh
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
There is a word which describes you Spongebob and that word is... um...
Fish 1:
Dork!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
No, no that's not it
Fish 2:
Goofball!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
Closer, but no.
Fish 3:
Dingaling!
Fish 4:
Wingnut!
Old Lady:
Knucklehead McSpazatron!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
Okay! That's enough.
Patrick Star:
MINDY! Did you see my underwear?
Mindy:
No Patrick.
Patrick Star:
...Do you want to?
Sheldon J. Plankton:
I haven't felt this goody since the day you agreed to marry me!
Karen the Computer:
I never agreed.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[to Dennis on Hasselhoff's leg] I don't know what Plankton's paying you... But maybe these can make it worth your while.
Dennis:
You think I can be bought with five... what are these?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
That, sir, is five Goober dollars, legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober.
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[having jumped from leg to leg on David Hasselhoff's body] Woo-hoo! I made i
ffb
t!
Dennis:
[Dennis jumps and makes it] So did I. You've got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip em out of you!
[makes a gesture like pulling guts out of one's body]
Perch Perkins:
First of all, congratulations Mr Krabs.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
Hello, I like money.
Perch Perkins:
What inspired you to build the a second Krusty Krab right next to the original?
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
Money!
Squidward Tentacles:
[Finds SpongeBob in his shower with him] SpongeBob, what are you doing?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
I have to tell you something.
Squidward Tentacles:
Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
There's no shower at work.
Squidward Tentacles:
What is it?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
I just wanted to let you know I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
Squidward Tentacles:
[shouts] Get out!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
[pulling up to the gas station with Patrick in the patty wagon - a hamburger on wheels] Fill her up, please.
Gas Station Attendant:
[looking at the patty wagon slightly bemused] What'll it be, fellas? Mustard or ketchup?
Mindy:
Good luck, Spongebob!
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Wait, how did you know my name?
Mindy:
Oh, I'm going to be queen of the sea someday! I've been learning the names of all the sea creatures.
Patrick Star:
What's my name?
Mindy:
That's easy! You're Patrick Star!
Patrick Star:
[blushes and laughs, lovestruck]
SpongeBob SquarePants:
Cleanliness is next to managerliness.
Patrick Star:
Are they laughing at us?
SpongeBob SquarePants:
No, they're laughting next to us.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs:
[talking to Spongebob] Look. What i'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it kidager. You understandegar... i mean you understand.
David Hasselhoff:
[after Dennis stabs him in the butt] Take it easy back there fellas
SpongeBob SquarePants:
I'm ready! Promotion! I'm ready! Promotion!...
King Neptune:
Mindy, what is this?
Mindy:
Your crown?
King Neptune:
And do you know what it does?
Mindy:
Cover up your bald spot?
King Neptune:
It's not bald! It's... thinning.
Crowd:
[Regarding King Neptune] BALD! BALD BALD! BALD! BALD!
Fish:
MY EYES!