灰羽联盟 (2002) 8.7

[Rakka has discovered two new cocoons... she says in her mind... last lines] Rakka: Reki, I'll never forget you. Rakka: Can you tell me where I am? And what's Haibane? Rakka: We're not human, are we? Reki: Nobody knows exactly what we are... if we're human or not. We call ourselves the Haibane, which means 'charcoal feathers'. Rakka: I wanna go home! Reki: The Haibane are not allowed to go outside of town. It is our most sacred law. Besides, even if your family were somewhere in this world, they wouldn't recognize you if they saw you now. Rakka: But why? Reki: Just as you cannot remember the world that you used to be in, there is nobody in this world who can remember you. Kuu: Inside my mind, there's a beautiful cup. A very beautiful, clear cup. And tiny drops kept falling into it, 'drip, drip, drip', slowly but steadily, everyday. And today, I felt the cup had finally become completely full. Rakka: Kuu... Kuu: And that's because you gave me some of those drops. Rakka, thank you. Communicator: Then, do you recognize your own sin? Rakka: If I do, does that mean my sin will be erased? Communicator: Think about it. To recognize one's own sin is to have no sin. So, are you a sinner? Rakka: Uh! But if I think I have no sin, then I become a sinner! Communicator: Perhaps this is what it means to be bound by sin. To spin in the same circle, looking for where the sin lies, and at some point losing sight of the way out. Rakka: What's the right answer, then? Communicator: Think about it. You must search for and find the answer yourself. [Rakka is cleaning Kuu's room, after her "Day of Flight"... Rakka begins to speak out loud alone] Rakka: Good morning, Kuu. It's already been a month since you left. Winter has finally come to this little town. But thanks to your advice, I didn't catch a cold. How are you doing Kuu? So what's it like where you are now? What do you do there? I hope people there are as nice as those in the town of Glie. In case you're wondering, everyone here at Old Home is doing fine. And I... [drops her broom and begins to sob] Rakka: Sorry, but I can't congratulate you like everybody else. I wanted to be with you much longer. I wanted to go shopping with you... and eat with you... and talk about a lot of things with you! There were a lot more things that I wanted you to teach me! Rakka: She's been blaming herself all this time. Why is it only Reki that can't be forgiven? Communicator: Why do you think YOU were forgiven? Rakka: It's not because I forgave myself. Communicator:

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That is correct. No one is able to forgive themselves. However you had the bird. Someone believed in you, and stood by you.

fdc

Rakka: By recognizing one's own sin, you can't help but go around in circles if you're alone. Rakka: I still wonder... what the Haibane are. Everyone says that both the walls and this town exist for the Haibane. But, the charcoal feathers are born into this world suddenly, and just as suddenly they disappear. I don't know the reason why I became a Haibane. I'm here, I can't remember anything about who I was. And if I am to disappear someday without accomplishing anything, what's the meaning of my existence? Reki: You know, at one time, I felt the same way as you. I think there is a meaning, but only YOU can find it. Reki: I'll be by your side. I went down the wrong path because I lost Kunamori. But no matter what happens, Rakka, I will always be by your side. Rakka: Somewhere, that's not here, in a place I can't remember, I was obsessed with the idea that I was all alone. I thought that nobody would care, or even miss me if I vanished from the face of the Earth. I wanted to disappear. Then I had a dream about falling from the sky. I just remember that the bird was in the dream with me, and that the bird was someone in the form of a bird, trying to call me back. I now know that I was never alone. But I... Communicator: You should not think of it in such a way. Your wings and halo are proof that you have no sin to be atoned for in this world. Rakka: But you don't understand! My feathers are... Communicator: So, you are sin bound. Hiding the signs of your sin by dyeing your feathers with medicine. Who showed you how? Rakka: ... Communicator: I see. Rakka: What do you mean by 'sin bound'? Are you saying I'm a sinner? And does that mean... that the dream was real? Communicator: There is no way to be certain. Whatever you lost dreaming inside your cocoon can never be retrieved. Even if you heard someone, you will never see that person again. Rakka: So if I really am a sinner, and I'm not supposed to be here, then please... take me back to the place where I'm supposed to be. This place... this town is too good to me. Everyone is so caring and treats me so kindly. I feel so guilty! If the dream I had is real, I want to go back. I have to go back! I have to apologize! Communicator: To recognize one's own sin is to have no sin. It is the riddle of the 'Circle of Sin'. [Rakka has fallen asleep. Reki has just realized that Rakka is no longer sin bound] Reki: You're free, and now I'm alone. Reki: This town is my prison. The walls are a symbol of my death. Reki: This is my cocoon dream. The nightmare that has been tormenting my existence in this world. I was walking along this path. I remember cold winds stinging my cheecks that were wet from tears. I heard a sound from far away. But I was too tired to think. I remember wanting to become a stone. A stone that doesn't feel pain. Or sorrow. Reki: They'll never know how very dark and very cold my heart is.

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Rakka