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[after the two pilots crash in the simulator]
Simulator pilot:
Is this some kind of joke? There's no way to land that aircraft the way you guys got it programmed!
Simulator co-pilot:
Dumb scenario if you ask me! Impossible set of conditions! Who ever dreamed that up?
Inspector:
It isn't a dream. It happened.
Maurice Quintal:
It's the first time in my life I'd rather be on the ground than in the air.
Pearl Dion:
What can go wrong when the airline's top mechanic is sitting in the seat right next to us?
Rick Dion:
You don't want the oxygen masks popping out. It might panic the passengers.
Capt. Bob Pearson:
"Might panic"? Heh. I'm surprised they're not back there knitting their own parachutes right now.
[small talk between the first officer and a flight attendant]
Maurice Quintal:
How's things in the cabin? Busy?
Florence Bisaillon:
[chuckles] It's less than half-full! But I prefer when it's so busy. Then, I can't stop. Time goes by faster.
Maurice Quintal:
Well, you wouldn't get to enjoy the flight, eh?
Florence Bisaillon:
That's fine by me. I hate flying.
[trying to assume the crash landing position, Bob's seat in front of him falls]
Bob Rand:
[screaming] What's wrong with this? Why can't you people do anything right? This damn seat's collapsing.
Lynn Brown:
It's designed to do that, Sir! It cushions you if you just rest on it, and don't try to mash it.
Bob Rand:
What's the matter? We're all going to die anyway.
Lynn Brown:
Would you please be quiet? I have a little daughter waiting for me at home, and I have *no* intention of dying!
Bob Rand:
Bull! This plane's going to...
Lynn Brown:
[raising her voice] Sir, shut your stupid mouth!
[Lynn slams the seat back to its upright position]
Larry Roberts:
[over the PA] Uh, would the cabin crew please report to the forward galley?
Phil Lyons:
[raising his glass] Here's to accurate dental records.
Bob Rand:
[stopping flight attendant Florence on her way to the front] Hey! What the hell is going on?
Florence Bisaillon:
Uh, routine, Sir. Just routine for us to meet on long flights, to check the liquor inventory...
Bob Rand:
Don't give me that bull. I'm a paying customer. I pay your damn wages. Now, what's going on?
Florence Bisaillon:
If you *must* swear, could you keep your voice down?
[keeps walking]
Bob Rand:
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Phil Lyons:
I knew I shouldn't have bothered with my stupid family reunion. I knew it. Thank God I didn't bring Gloria along.
Bob Rand:
At least you're on vacation. I've got to go back to work on Monday.
Phil Lyons:
What do you do?
Bob Rand:
[sighs] I coach at the local High School.
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Phil Lyons
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e7d
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:
Well, I guess I pay your wages, then, don't I?
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