advertisement [after being beaten up by Walker] Ranger Jimmy Trivette: I'm glad he's in a happy mood. Ranger Cordell Walker: I think our next place to search is where military and wannabe military types hang out. Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Does that mean the Hunt Club? Ranger Cordell Walker: Yep! Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Nobody goes into the Hunt Club without a S.W.A.T. escort. Ranger Cordell Walker: We do! Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Cookies and cream, Big Dog? C.D. Parker: This isn't an intensive care and your feet aren't plastered to cement. Come on back here and help yourself. I'm busy! [Trivette walks behind counter] Ranger Cordell Walker: I'd like some coffee! Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Sure, customer! Coming right up! [Alex walks in] A.D.A. Alex Cahill: Hey guys! C.D. Parker: Would you like some coffee? Victor LaRue: What's your name, soldier? Buddy Rebotco: Buddy Rebotco! Victor LaRue: Victor LaRue, your new best friend. Buddy Rebotco: Can I have one of those guns? Victor LaRue: You're not that good of a friend. Mexican: This is Mexico, Ranger! You've got no right! Ranger Cordell Walker: I've got no right? Mexican: No! [Walker punches the Mexican] Ranger Cordell Walker: I think that was a pretty good right. Rapist: Ranger, you screwed up! You forgot to read us our rights. Ranger Cordell Walker: You're right! You have the right (kicks the rapist) to remain silent. [Walker and Trivette are escorting a cop killer on a plane from Cleveland to Dallas and Walker has to be separated from Trivette and the killer] Ranger Cordell Walker: If he gives you any trouble, you know what to do? Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Yeah! Shoot first and come find you later. [Sydney and Gage prepare to make dinner] Francis Gage: So who's cooking and who's cleaning? Sydney Cooke: Can you cook? Francis Gage: Are you kidding? I'm a bachelor. Of course I can cook! Sydney Cooke: Okay, so what can you cook? Francis Gage: French toast. Sydney Cooke: French toast? Is that all? Francis Gage: Cinnamon toast. Sydney Cooke: Cinnamon toast. Francis Gage: Raisin toast. (pause) Rye toast. Sydney Cooke: (stares blankly) Francis Gage: You cook. I'll clean. Francis Gage: I'd like a soda, C.D... C.D. Parker: Is your foot in a bear trap? You've been comin' here long enough. Get your own soda. [CD has been cornered by two bad guys] CD Parker: You know? Life's funny - you can sleep off a hangover but you can't sleep off ugly. [Walker has put some tuxedos, for his and Alex's wedding, in Trivette's car] Ranger Cordell Walker: Now, be careful with the tuxedos. Don't wrinkle them. Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Will you relax! Francis Gage: Nothing's gonna happen to the tuxes, Walker. Later! [to Trivette] Francis Gage: ...You know, the only person more nervous than Walker is Sydney. Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Why is she nervous? Francis Gage: She's been worried since day one that we weren't gonna get these tuxes in time for the wedding. Radio: All units, report of a 2-11 in progress at the First Bank of South Dallas... [they go to the bank robbery in Trivette's car. One of the robbers has a grenade, with which he tries to use. Gage kicks the grenade under Trivette's car, then realizes his mistake] Francis Gage: Whoops! Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Duh! [Trivette's car blows up] Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Nooo! Francis Gage: Uhm... Sorry about your car. Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Sorry about *what?* Never mind the car; Walker's gonna kill us! [pieces of burned and burning tuxedo fall and blow around them] Francis Gage: The tuxes! Ranger Jimmy Trivette: That's what I mean! Francis Gage: Oh, man! Hey, we should just... go to Australia. Ranger Jimmy Trivette: That's not far enough. Francis Gage: Isn't it? *Shoot*! [one of the bank robbers gets up and fires on them; Trivette and Gage draw their guns] Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Get down! Francis Gage: Yeah, yeah! Get down! You have no idea how much trouble we're in! Lazarus: You ready to die? Ranger Cordell Walker: Before I do, who sent you? Lazarus: [Smirks, and then cracks neck] My boss. The Chairman: You've been a worthy opponent, Walker. I respect that. The true measure of a man is in the enemies he makes. Sydney Cooke: [Sydney is chasing gangsters. They try to jump a fence to get away from her] Don't MAKE me climb that fence! Sydney Cooke: [pacing in front of three bank robbers who are sitting on the curb, hands cuffed behind thier backs] You are under arrest for robbery, assault on a peace officer and for making me miss the rodeo! [On their first day as partners, Walker and Trivette have busted an arms runner] Ranger Cordell Walker: Come on, Trivit. Ranger Jimmy Trivette: It's not Trivet; It's TRIVETTE! Ranger Cordell Walker: [Walker has just been thrown by a bull. He pushes Trivette, who has been roped into being a clown out of the way] Move it Trivette! Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Hey, you said my name! Ranger Cordell Walker: Go! A.D.A. Alex Cahill: How about a cruise for out honeymoon? Ranger Cordell Walker: We've already done that. A.D.A. Alex Cahill: That was a river raft! Ranger Cordell Walker: Close enough. A.D.A. Alex Cahill: [Walker and Alex are choosing silverware and china] Do you see anything that jumps out at you? Is anything speaking to you? Ranger Cordell Walker: Yeah, their speaking to me. But their speaking in French, so I can't understand what their saying. A.D.A. Alex Cahill: Very funny. Sydney Cooke: [calming down the rowdy patrons of a bar] Careful boys. Little girl with a gun. Francis Gage: [undercover] I got another gun you can play with. Sydney Cooke: Sorry, but I prefer something in a bigger caliber. Member of Terrorist Cell: You can't leave, we're at Defcon One. Francis Gage: You guys really talk like that? A.D.A. Alex Cahill: Maybe you should go to the hospital. Ranger Cordell Walker: No. I'm okay. A.D.A. Alex Cahill: Just to get it looked at. Ranger Cordell Walker: The medic just looked at it, Alex. I'm fine. A.D.A. Alex Cahill: You're so stubborn! [Sydney and Jimmy come out of a piercing parlor after interviewing someone; she hints he should pierce something] Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Yeah, right. If I'd get an ear pierced, Walker'd make me ride in the back of his truck. [Walker carries bad guys to jail by placing them in the back of his truck] C.D. Parker: And how are you doing, little partner? Lucas Simms: Fine, and it's little visitor now. Ranger Cordell Walker: [chuckles] Lucas Simms: Usdi adadamdvhidohi is how you say it in Cherokee. C.D. Parker: Oh, pardon my French, but I'll be damned. Lucas Simms: Walker told me I have AIDS. Ranger Cordell Walker: [Alex is pregnant] Hey, Honey, how are you feeling? A.D.A. Alex Cahill: [Alex covers her mouth with her hand and runs to the bathroom] Ranger Cordell Walker: Sydney, how long is this morning sickness suppose to last? Sydney Cooke: How should I know? Ranger Cordell Walker: All I know is, I'm glad women have to go through this and not men! Sydney Cooke: Men are such wimps! [walks off to go find Alex] Ranger Cordell Walker, Ranger Jimmy Trivette, Francis Gage: [agreeing] Well... Yep. Yeah. Sure. Ranger Cordell Walker: Sydney, Gage, you're going undercover at the bar. Gage, you're going to be a bartender. Sydney... Sydney Cooke: I know, I know. Cocktail waitress.