[Admiring a painting] Harris: I like the relationships. I mean, each character has his own story. The puppy is a bit too much, but you have to over look things like that in these kinds of paintings. The way he's *holding* her... it's almost... filthy. I mean, he's about to kiss her and she's pulling away. The way the leg's sort of smashed up against her... Phew... Look how he's painted the blouse sort of translucent. You can just make out her breasts underneath and it's sort of touching him about here. It's really... pretty torrid, don't you think? Then of course you have the onlookers peeking at them from behind the doorway like they're all shocked. They wish. Yeah, I must admit, when I see a painting like this, I get emotionally... erect. [the painting is revealed to be of a red rectangle] Harris: Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time. Sara: What did you have in mind? Harris: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A. Sara: That's the first ten minutes, then what? Harris: All right, a cynic. First stop is six blocks from here. Sara: Why don't we walk? Harris: Walk? A walk in L.A.? Roland: Sara just got off a plane from London. Trudi: Oh, you must be exhausted. Sara: Yes, I'm shattered, but it's nothing that some sleep and a good fuck wouldn't cure, as my sister used to say. Ha ha ha. [Everyone stares] Roland: You'll have to forgive Sara. Sara: Oh, it was just... it was just a figure of speech. I've been on a plane for twelve hours next to a crying baby. Harris: I'm not kissing anyone hello anymore. Trudi: Well just shake hands with them. Harris: Are you kidding? I just wash my hands and I shake hands with some guy that feels like he's been squashing caterpillars. Harris: Here, let me not drive for a while. [Harris' girlfriend slept with his agent] Harris: And I thought they were only supposed to take 10 percent.
: And if I were to go? Harris: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work, so your plane couldn't take off. Trudi: Sheila has been studying the art of conversation. Harris: Oh, you're taking a course in conversation? Sheila: Yes. [Long pause] Sara: I keep thinking I'm a grown up, but I'm not. Guy with neck-support: I'll have a decaf coffee. Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso. Movie critic: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino. Policeman: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream. Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon. Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon. Guy with neck-support: I'll have a twist of lemon. Movie critic: I'll have a twist of lemon. Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon. Harris: So, I'll see you Sunday? Trudi: I got a shower Sunday. Harris: Oh yeah, and I really should take a bath... Monday? Harris: Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please start talking at the sound of the beep. [BEEP] Sara: Hello? Harris: Hello. Sara: Hello? Harris: Hello. Sara: Is this a person? Harris: Yes, it is a person. [repeated line] Sara: Let your mind go and your body will follow. [Harris kisses Sara. ] Sara: Oh no, I can't. This is how Mommy met Daddy. Harris: Let your mind go and your body will follow. Harris: Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends? Harris: Ordinarily, I don't like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too. Sara: Are you saying I'm interesting? Harris: All I'm saying is that, when I'm around you, I find myself showing off, which is the idiot's version of being interesting. Crook: Hi. My name is Bob. I'll be your robber. Harris: [hands him the money] Hi, how are you? Crook: Thank you very much. Harris:
There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.