神父神探 (1954) 6.8

Station sergeant: Your name? Father Brown: Brown. Station sergeant: You sure it isn't Smith, or Jones? [the contents of Father Brown's pockets are being inventoried by the police] Patrolman: One Bible. Father Brown: [Correcting the patrolman] One breviary.

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Station sergeant

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: One... book. Patrolman: One bar of milk chocolate. Station sergeant: One bar... of chocolate. Your glasses, please. Father Brown: Oh. Is that really necessary? I'm as blind as a bat without them. Though I often wonder whether all bats are really blind, any more than all lords drunk or all judges sober. Father Brown: I've never been in a cell before. Except a monastery cell, of course. Parkinson: Father! You in trouble, Father? Father Brown: I'm disappointed in you, Bert. Parkinson: I'm sorry, Father, it was just... Father Brown: Firstly, because you did wrong. Secondly, because you did wrong in the wrong way. Frankly, you are an incompetent thief. Parkinson: Well, I wouldn't go that far. Father Brown: I would. You are clearly incapable of earning a dishonest living. Why not experiment with an honest one? Father Brown: Perhaps you think a crime horrible because you cannot imagine yourselves committing it. That isn't true, you know. What really horrifies you is the secret and shameful knowledge that you are capable of committing it. We all are, I no less than you. We were not made good people or bad people. We were made people. Lady Warren: [referring to the cross of St. Augustine] It's very beautiful. Is it valuable? Father Brown: No, not valuable. Priceless. Father Brown: Where would a wise man hide a leaf? In a forest. Where would a wise man hide a cross? In a forest of crosses. We have a forest of crosses ready-made for us. A forest of priests; a black forest, you might say. Father Brown: My lord, this is lunacy. The Bishop: Father Brown, you will be good enough to leave matters in the lunatic hands of the inspector and myself. Scotland Yard will continue to inform you of our further insane decisions. Meanwhile, good morning. French Widow: [referring to smoking] Disgusting habit! French Cavalry Officer: But a very useful one sometimes. A friend of mine, Captain Chavasse of the Foreign Legion, leg half shot off. No anesthetic. Smoked a pipe all through the operation. Never felt a thing. Inspector Valentine: Good lord. What was he smoking? French Cavalry Officer: Opium. Father Brown: A simple but effective ruse, taught me by one of the lambs in my flock. Flambeau: A strange flock. Father Brown: Oh, not strange, just human. Albert was a dear fellow. Where do you think he is now? Flambeau: In prison. Father Brown: In a monastery. Life is full of surprises, isn't it? Flambeau: One never dreams how full. Inspector Valentine:

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[after failing to commandeer a taxi with a couple kissing in the back]