Juan Miranda: You taught me one thing, you Irish bastard: how to get fucked! John H. Mallory: Where are you going, for Christ's sake? Juan Miranda: I don't know. I don't know, but something's wrong. I went into the bank. But when I go in the bank, there's nothing there, no money, nothing. John H. Mallory: Oh, well, the bank and the money were transferred to Mexico City over a month ago. Well, they've been using this place for a political prison ever since. Juan Miranda: What? What do you mean a political prison? John H. Mallory: Well, I never said a thing about money. All I asked you was if you wanted to get inside. Juan Miranda: But you know that this bank is my life! This is my dream! John H. Mallory: Well, the reality of that is you just liberated 150 patriots through sheer courage in the face of danger. [chuckles] John H. Mallory: Ah yes, you're a grand hero of the revolution, now. Viva Miranda. Juan Miranda: [the crowd lifts Miranda on its shoulders] I don't want to be a hero! All I want is the money! The money! You taught me one thing! John H. Mallory: What? Juan Miranda: [gives Mallory the finger] How to get fucked! Juan Miranda: What kinda work you do for the German? Listen, I asked you a question. What do you do for the German? John H. Mallory: I've been looking for silver. Juan Miranda: Silver? You know something? I don't understand you. I don't understand how you waste your time and your holy water looking for silver. To me, that's a sin. John H. Mallory: Do you have any better ideas? Juan Miranda: Si, I think gold is better than silver. John H. Mallory: Ah, there isn't any gold in these hills. Juan Miranda: Oh ho, yes there is! In Mesa Verde. John H. Mallory: Mesa Verde? It's a city. Juan Miranda: Of course it's a city! Who ever heard of having a bank in the country, huh? John H. Mallory: Uh huh, a bank. Juan Miranda: Not "a bank." *The bank!* The most beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, gorgeous, magnificent bank in the whole world! When you stand before the bank and you see it has the gates of gold, like it was the gates of heaven. And when you go inside, everything, *everything* is gold! Gold spittoons, gold handles, and money, money, money is everywhere. And you know, I know 'cause I saw this when I was eight years old. I went there with my father. He tried to rob the bank, but they caught him. But they will never catch me, eh, Papa? Juan's father: Right. Juan Miranda: Listen, Firecracker. Now you listen to me. Listen, why don't you come with me, eh? And we will work together and we will become rich! Juan Miranda: Hey, what kind of trouble you in? John H. Mallory: Oh, we fought a revolution in Ireland. Juan Miranda: A revolution? Seems to me the revolutions are all over the world. You know, they're like the *crabs*! We had a revolution here. When it started, all the brave people went in it, and what it did to them was terrible. Pancho Villa, the best bandit chief in the world, you know that? This man had two balls like the bull. He went in the revolution as a great bandit. When he came out, he came out as what? Nothing. A general, huh? That, to me, is the bullshit! John H. Mallory: Where there's revolotion there's confusion and when there's confusion a man who knows what he wants stands a good chance of getting it. John H. Mallory: I used to believe in many things, all of it! Now, I believe only in dynamite. American on wagon: You'll pay for this! I'm a citizen of the United States of America! Juan's father: To me you are a naked son of a bitch. [one of Juan's sons has just fired a pistol into the air] Juan Miranda: No one fires a gun unless I pull the trigger! [John opens his coat to reveal the explosives he carries] John H. Mallory: If you shoot me down, they will have to change all the maps... [repeated line, right before something explodes] John H. Mallory: Duck, you sucker! Juan Miranda: [a bird in a cage defecates on Juan's head, Juan looks up] For the rich you sing. Juan Miranda: Listen, G黱ther Ruiz is after us, and now Villa wants to talk to me, I think we should get outta here. Sean Mallory: [puffing on cigar] Well, Jesus, Juan-o, you can't leave now, you're a great, grand, glorious hero of the revolution. Juan Miranda: Uh, can I tell you something? Sean Mallory: What? Juan Miranda: [whispering] Fuck you. Juan Miranda: I know what I am talking about when I am talking about the revolutions. The people who read the books go to the people who can't read the books, the poor people, and say, "We have to have a change." So, the poor people make the change, ah? And then, the people who read the books, they all sit around the big polished tables, and they talk and talk and talk and eat and eat and eat, eh? But what has happened to the poor people? They're dead! That's your revolution. Shhh... So, please, don't tell me about revolutions! And what happens afterwards? The same fucking thing starts all over again! John H. Mallory: [exhales] Whew. Hmmm. [throws a book he was reading into the mud: Mikhael A. Bakunin, The Patriotism] Dr. Villega: Not *everybody* can fight. There are those who must organize, coordinate. Sean Mallory: Yes, yes. Of course! Juan Miranda: [turning binoculars the wrong way] He says it's no danger just watch the bridge from a long way. [turning binoculars the right way] Juan Miranda: No matter how I look with them we're still too close to the bridge. What am I doing mixed up in this fucking revolution in the first place? You tell me God, what am I doing here? Why didn't you strike me to death instead of letting me say: I stay too! Oh, look at him. All because of him! He acts like a tourist who's going somewhere, only he's staying, eh, just look at him. What the hell does he care, he's having fun. I'm glad he's having fun, God, because I'm not having fun, No! Hey, what's this? [looks at John with binoculars] Juan Miranda: Heh, now he goes to sleep, eh. You go ahead, you sleep. Sleep. I tell you something God: When he's asleep, I go. Shhh. Juan Miranda: What's that? John H. Mallory: A map. [Juan puts it under his head] John H. Mallory: Hey, that's your country you're lying all over, there! Juan Miranda: Not my country. My country is me and my family. Priest: [about peasants] I hate saying it, but you should hear them in the confessional. You would never imagine. Did you know that they... Adelita, woman in stagecoach: I can imagine, Father. I can imagine. Living such promiscuity. All of them in one room, male and female together, lying in a heap like rats in a sewer. At night, when the lights are out, all their inhibitions disappear. You never know who is next: mother, sister, daughter... goat. [last lines in uncut version] Juan Miranda: [quietly] What about me? John H. Mallory: Say, which way is it to Lucanina? Juan Miranda: Fuck you! John H. Mallory: Ah hahahaha! Juan Miranda: Mexico is big, but for you it is going to be very big! [repeated line] Juan Miranda: John... and Juan... [repeated line] John H. Mallory: Jesus, for chrissake! [repeated line] Juan Miranda: O-kay! Juan Miranda: You've come here to join the Revolution? John H. Mallory: No, one was enough for me.