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"The Simple Life: Interns"
(2003)
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Nicole Richie:
Do you know where the showers are?
man at Caliente:
Yes, they're over around that corner. They're outdoor showers.
Nicole Richie:
So everyone can see us shower?
man at Caliente:
Well, it's that kind of place.
Nicole Richie:
What's your name?
Maggie-Dot:
Maggie-Dot.
Paris Hilton:
Wow, that's hot!
Nicole Richie:
It's a Supercenter.
Paris Hilton:
What does that mean?
Nicole Richie:
I don't know.
Nicole Richie:
[babysitting] Okay, it says here no profanity, so that means we can't say "fuck" or "shit" around you. Oh! No sweets after eight.
Paris Hilton:
Here ya go.
[Paris tosses her a candy bar]
Nicole Richie:
Will you say "Bitch"?
Little Girl:
I can't.
Nicole Richie:
Okay... what word rhymes with "witch"?
Little Girl:
I'm not sayin it.
Unromantic Naval Officer:
[reciting a poem for his wife that Nicole wrote] I love my Gail. If that's a crime, then I'll go to jail. It doesn't matter the price of bail. Because you make my heart sail. Sail like a naval boat. I'll keep you warm like an oil skin coat. Without you I'm a lost little goat. I love you, I love you, I do love you... Booh-yah.
Paris Hilton:
[after seeing a roomate wanted ad in the laundermat] I know it says no smoking but I love my cigs.
Boss:
What are you doing? Eating or working?
Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton:
Dancing.
Boss:
Dancing.
Nicole Richie:
[begging people for money] Can I have five dollars. No? Thanks a lot, mother fucker.
Paris Hilton:
How old are you?
Boy at Trailer Site:
Paris Hilton:
Sexy.
Family at Trailer Site:
So did you like the food?
Nicole Richie:
Yea, it was scrumptious.
Paris Hilton:
[later] That was the worst food I've ever tasted.
Paris Hilton:
[while looking at naked seniors] This is not how I wanted to wake up.
Women Working at nudist center:
What do you like about your body?
Paris Hilton:
Um, my stomach, and legs, face.
[in a low voice]
Paris Hilton:
And my arms and legs.
Nicole Richie:
James needs to learn, I always get the last laugh.
Nicole Richie:
[shouting to random passing cars on the street] You want some sausage?
Nicole Richie:
Today we learned, don't fuck with me, that's what we learned today.
Nicole Richie:
[to girl with date] They're gone.
[girl with date looks at Paris and Nicole while there giving evil grins]
Nicole Richie:
Lets get all slutty.
Nicole Richie:
[on speaker] My name is Bambi and I'm stuck here on the road. Im here all by myself with nothing but me and my g-string and my fluffer... can someone help?
Trucker Guy 1:
Where you at?
Trucker Guy 2:
Come on here, lets go!
Trucker Guy 3:
Were do you want me to meet you at?
Trucker Guy 4:
[makes police siren sound] Pull over!
Jim:
I have a way with the animals.
Paris Hilton:
Thats hot.
Baseball Manager:
What do you girls know about baseball?
Nicole Richie:
I saw "A League Of Their Own." I know there's no crying in baseball.
Nicole Richie:
[using pay phone in dugout] Cookie? Hi, you silly bitch.
Paris Hilton:
How many more miles to LA?
Nicole Richie:
How the fuck should I know?
Paris Hilton:
Yay, Billy's here!
Nicole Richie:
Come over here, you sexy bitch.
Paris Hilton:
What is Wal-Mart?... 'Cause, like, they sell wall stuff?
Paris Hilton:
What is Wal-Mart? Do they, like, sell wall stuff?
Paris Hilton:
Where are wells from?
Paris Hilton:
What does generic mean?
Nicole Richie:
[to the cows] Move your fat asses down here!
Fast food boss:
When cars with kids are passing by they want to see balloons, not the finger.
Albert Leding:
So, how did the girls do?
Fast food boss:
Well, they completly messed up everything.
Paris Hilton:
I'm gonna miss Justin.
Nicole Richie:
We never did have that threesome.
Nicole Richie:
[to Justin] You sould come to LA or New York with us, pick up some hot bitches.
[Janet looks at Nicole with an angry look]
Nicole Richie:
I'm just kidding.
[finding herself short of cash at Walmart]
Paris Hilton:
Can I take the extra stuff for free?
Cashier:
This is not a soup kitchen.
Paris Hilton:
What's a soup kitchen?
[eating a plucked chicken]
Paris Hilton:
Tastes like chicken.
Paris Hilton:
That bacon smells good.
Nicole Richie:
Yea... They probably killed it this morning.
Fast food boss:
Here are your checks. Paris and Nicole.
Paris Hilton:
Fifty seven dollars... What do you do with this?
Fast food boss:
Cash them.
Paris Hilton:
Where do we cash them?
Fast food boss:
The bank.
[after being asked to pluck a chicken]
Nicole Richie:
The only thing getting plucked around here are my eyebrows.
Nicole Richie:
You smell like onions.
Nicole Richie:
[while Paris is spraying almost the entire can of lysol into the stinky truck] Enough. Do you want to smell like that dear?
Paris Hilton:
Yes.
Nicole Richie:
Isn't a taxidermist a place that skins animals?
Paris Hilton:
Then why'd we brink Tinkerbell?
Paris and Nicole's Boss:
How'd it go?
Nicole Richie:
Gorgeous.
Braxton Leding:
[after killing bugs in Paris and Nicole's room] It'll be icy and cold in the morning.
Nicole Richie:
[trying to get the co-op cashier's attention] Bubi? Chootles? Scooby?
Nicole Richie:
[looking at the shower in their trailer] Where does the water come from?
Nicole Richie:
Payback's a bitch!
Nicole Richie:
[asking a random guy for money] You know what? Keep the five. I'll do you a favour and take the
Nicole Richie:
[joking] He'ss cute! Let's have a threesome, come on, give him something.
Cashier:
Are you the spoilt rich girl?
Paris Hilton:
No, I'm not spoilt. I wouldn't be here if I was spoilt.
Paris Hilton:
Send in the next bitch.
Nicole Richie:
It's five dollars to get your ass kicked, another two dollars to get flipped and another three dollars to get your nipples twisted.
[Paris and Nicole inspecting the funeral home crusher receptacle]
Nicole Richie:
What's the little bottom one for? Feet? Shoes?
[to patient]
Nicole Richie:
I'm gonna do the surgery on you myself, are you excited?
Nicole Richie:
[while cutting a little boy's hair with clippers] If I start cutting off you ear, just scream and I'll stop.
Nicole Richie:
Do you ever use these knee pads?
Manager of Airplane:
You bet I do.
Nicole Richie:
Do you love them...
Paris Hilton:
...in the bed?
Manager of Airplane:
That's an experience.
Paris Hilton:
That was pretty sexy.
Nicole Richie:
Excuse me, would you like a lap dance, dear?
Lady at Resturaunt:
No, thats OK.
Girl:
My dad works at a police job, you know the people in jail have to be friendly with the police.
Nicole Richie:
I seem to be friends with all the police men cause I was arrested three times.
Paris Hilton:
Hello, ladies, do you know about polar bears?
Old Ladies:
Yea, a little.
Nicole Richie:
Well, this is a maferdite from Africa this one's name is Magnet. He's a homosexual, he's 70 years old and he likes to fuck a lot.
Paris Hilton:
Wanna throw fish to him?
Nicole Richie:
You should make this house all sexed out.
Girl:
How?
Nicole Richie:
Find sexual stuff.
Nicole's Boyfriend:
Where gonna have a nice sexy dinner.
Paris Hilton:
Bye, bitch.
Nicole Richie:
What's the difference between these two foods?
Waiter at Resturaunt:
Nothing.
Nicole Richie:
Fine, I'll get them both since you seem so emotional about it.
Nicole Richie:
[To an older couple on a bus] We love you, bitches.
Nicole Richie:
[Regarding a nursing home.] Do people com here by choice or because their families hate them?
Nicole Richie:
Where's your bed?
Man:
Huh?
Nicole Richie:
Your bed.
Man:
My granddaughter?
Nicole Richie:
Where you sleep.
Man:
[Pointing to a recliner.] Over there!
Nicole Richie:
Oh.
Nicole Richie:
So we're gonna make all you guys look like Brad Pitt and all you girls look like Britney Spears circa
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