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- 片 名新少棒闯天下
- 上映时间2006年01月18日(阿根廷)
- 导 演
理查德·林克莱特
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Morris Buttermaker:
You guys swing like Helen Keller at a piÒata party.
Morris Buttermaker:
Baseball's hard. You can love it but, believe me, it don't always love you back. It's kinda like dating a German chick.
Morris Buttermaker:
[watching girls play softball] You know, in my life I thought I'd never say, "Look at the ass on that second baseman." But look at the ass on that second baseman.
Morris Buttermaker:
If you get hurt, they can sue my ass so hard, they'll start garnishing my turds.
Tanner Boyle:
[hearing a man reading "Casey at the Bat"] What a fag!
Morris Buttermaker:
[reading names off roster] Daragebrigadian? Is that Aztec?
Garo Daragebrigadian:
No, Armenian.
Morris Buttermaker:
Well, they both built pyramids.
Morris Buttermaker:
Okay, Engelberg, this is a screwball. It's an old school thing. You gotta stand in there because it looks like it's gonna hit you, but it drops off the table.
Morris Buttermaker:
It's 3 o'clock I gotta go.
Lady With Rat Problem:
What about the rats?
Morris Buttermaker:
Well, one thing is for damn sure, you got a shit load of rats down there.
Mike Engelberg:
[Buttermaker falls down drunk] Is he dead?
Prem Lahiri:
No, he is drunk.
Tanner Boyle:
Screw this, man, I'm takin' his wallet.
Timothy Lupus:
Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy.
Morris Buttermaker:
Hey, Hooper what are you doing with that patch on your eye? Playing Pirate? Come to swab the deck, matey?
Matthew Hooper:
Mother says I have cancer of the eye.
Tanner Boyle:
Great. First we have to play ball with a girl? What next? A cripple?
Matthew Hooper:
Hey!
Tanner Boyle:
Oops, I forgot!
Morris Buttermaker:
Hey, Hooper, you wanna put that thing in fourth gear and get over here already?
Morris Buttermaker:
This ain't no democracy, it's a dictatorship, and I'm Hitler!
Joey Bullock:
Hey bears, thanks for batting practice.
Jimmy:
Yeah, you guys suck.
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2b
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Tanner Boyle
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ffb
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:
I'll show you batting practice.
Morris Buttermaker:
[as he's yelling at the ump] What are you on? 'Cause I want some!
Morris Buttermaker:
Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg:
I'm on Atkins!
Timothy Lupus:
I heard he puts money under your bed at night when you lose a tooth.
Tanner Boyle:
That's the tooth fairy, you homo!
[to his team after losing the first game of the season]
Morris Buttermaker:
You guys look like the last shit I took.
Morris Buttermaker:
Nice tits, Engelberg.
Morris Buttermaker:
Now, my old coach used to say a tie is like kissing your sister, but the way we've been playing, it's more like kissing a really hot stepsister.
Prem Lahiri:
I think I just entered puberty.
Morris Buttermaker:
[telling the kid's about the protective cups they have to wear] Also, you'll want to write your names on them because that's how you get Crabs. And trust me, you don't want to spend your Sunday afternoon picking through your pumpkin patch with a little comb.
Mike Engelberg:
Gotta protect the family jewels.
Tanner Boyle:
Who are you kidding. When's the last time you even saw them?
Tanner Boyle:
My dad says the only people who put ketchup on hot dogs are mental patients, and Texans.
Kelly Leak:
[talking to a Hooters waitress] Hey, what time are you getting off?
Prem Lahiri:
Hey, cut it out, poop-face!
Tanner Boyle:
Poop-face? Are you kidding me? Elmo flips better shit than you!
Timothy Lupus:
I got stitches on my foot.
Matthew Hooper:
Oh yeah? Well I'm in a damn wheelchair!
Prem Lahiri:
Hey Yankees, you can take your crappy trophy's and shove them right up your asses!
Tanner Boyle:
Nice. See you next year bitches!
Morris Buttermaker:
Come on guys, remember what I told you, there's no "I" in team
Matthew Hooper:
Yea, but there's an "M" and an "E".
Tanner Boyle:
THERE SHOULD BE AN "F" AND A "U"!
Morris Buttermaker:
I struck out Mike Schmidt in an exhibition game. Struck his ass right out.
Kelly Leak:
[referring to Coach Bullocks tight shorts] Do think people like seeing your nuts?
Timothy Lupus:
[after Timothy has been jumped by two members of the Yankees] No one's ever stood up for me before.
Tanner Boyle:
Maybe if you weren't such a spaz all the time, I wouldn't have to!
Garo Daragebrigadian:
[holding two cans of pesticide] Hey Coach, what's carcinogen mean?
Morris Buttermaker:
Liberal propaganda. Don't worry about it. It's just bullshit.
Morris Buttermaker:
[after hitting Ahmad with a pitch] It's all right, kid. You had a helmet on. Imagine if you didn't. You know what I'm saying?
Amanda Whurlitzer:
You must have a big one otherwise I don't know what mom saw in you.
Morris Buttermaker:
Hey, don't be talking about my *thing*. As far as you know Im like G.I.Joe down there.
Amanda Whurlitzer:
[telling him about her date] Don't worry I've got my period.
Morris Buttermaker:
Are you trying to give me a stroke?
Morris Buttermaker:
I've been disappointed before.
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