新少棒闯天下 (2005)

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  • 喜剧  运动
5.9
力荐
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经典台词

  • Morris Buttermaker: You guys swing like Helen Keller at a piÒata party. Morris Buttermaker: Baseball's hard. You can love it but, believe me, it don't always love you back. It's kinda like dating a German chick. Morris Buttermaker: [watching girls play softball] You know, in my life I thought I'd never say, "Look at the ass on that second baseman." But look at the ass on that second baseman. Morris Buttermaker: If you get hurt, they can sue my ass so hard, they'll start garnishing my turds. Tanner Boyle: [hearing a man reading "Casey at the Bat"] What a fag! Morris Buttermaker: [reading names off roster] Daragebrigadian? Is that Aztec? Garo Daragebrigadian: No, Armenian. Morris Buttermaker: Well, they both built pyramids. Morris Buttermaker: Okay, Engelberg, this is a screwball. It's an old school thing. You gotta stand in there because it looks like it's gonna hit you, but it drops off the table. Morris Buttermaker: It's 3 o'clock I gotta go. Lady With Rat Problem: What about the rats? Morris Buttermaker: Well, one thing is for damn sure, you got a shit load of rats down there. Mike Engelberg: [Buttermaker falls down drunk] Is he dead? Prem Lahiri: No, he is drunk. Tanner Boyle: Screw this, man, I'm takin' his wallet. Timothy Lupus: Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy. Morris Buttermaker: Hey, Hooper what are you doing with that patch on your eye? Playing Pirate? Come to swab the deck, matey? Matthew Hooper: Mother says I have cancer of the eye. Tanner Boyle: Great. First we have to play ball with a girl? What next? A cripple? Matthew Hooper: Hey! Tanner Boyle: Oops, I forgot! Morris Buttermaker: Hey, Hooper, you wanna put that thing in fourth gear and get over here already? Morris Buttermaker: This ain't no democracy, it's a dictatorship, and I'm Hitler! Joey Bullock: Hey bears, thanks for batting practice. Jimmy: Yeah, you guys suck. 复制 复制成功 复制失败,请手动复制
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  • : I'll show you batting practice. Morris Buttermaker: [as he's yelling at the ump] What are you on? 'Cause I want some! Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon? Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins! Timothy Lupus: I heard he puts money under your bed at night when you lose a tooth. Tanner Boyle: That's the tooth fairy, you homo! [to his team after losing the first game of the season] Morris Buttermaker: You guys look like the last shit I took. Morris Buttermaker: Nice tits, Engelberg. Morris Buttermaker: Now, my old coach used to say a tie is like kissing your sister, but the way we've been playing, it's more like kissing a really hot stepsister. Prem Lahiri: I think I just entered puberty. Morris Buttermaker: [telling the kid's about the protective cups they have to wear] Also, you'll want to write your names on them because that's how you get Crabs. And trust me, you don't want to spend your Sunday afternoon picking through your pumpkin patch with a little comb. Mike Engelberg: Gotta protect the family jewels. Tanner Boyle: Who are you kidding. When's the last time you even saw them? Tanner Boyle: My dad says the only people who put ketchup on hot dogs are mental patients, and Texans. Kelly Leak: [talking to a Hooters waitress] Hey, what time are you getting off? Prem Lahiri: Hey, cut it out, poop-face! Tanner Boyle: Poop-face? Are you kidding me? Elmo flips better shit than you! Timothy Lupus: I got stitches on my foot. Matthew Hooper: Oh yeah? Well I'm in a damn wheelchair! Prem Lahiri: Hey Yankees, you can take your crappy trophy's and shove them right up your asses! Tanner Boyle: Nice. See you next year bitches! Morris Buttermaker: Come on guys, remember what I told you, there's no "I" in team Matthew Hooper: Yea, but there's an "M" and an "E". Tanner Boyle: THERE SHOULD BE AN "F" AND A "U"! Morris Buttermaker: I struck out Mike Schmidt in an exhibition game. Struck his ass right out. Kelly Leak: [referring to Coach Bullocks tight shorts] Do think people like seeing your nuts? Timothy Lupus: [after Timothy has been jumped by two members of the Yankees] No one's ever stood up for me before. Tanner Boyle: Maybe if you weren't such a spaz all the time, I wouldn't have to! Garo Daragebrigadian: [holding two cans of pesticide] Hey Coach, what's carcinogen mean? Morris Buttermaker: Liberal propaganda. Don't worry about it. It's just bullshit. Morris Buttermaker: [after hitting Ahmad with a pitch] It's all right, kid. You had a helmet on. Imagine if you didn't. You know what I'm saying? Amanda Whurlitzer: You must have a big one otherwise I don't know what mom saw in you. Morris Buttermaker: Hey, don't be talking about my *thing*. As far as you know Im like G.I.Joe down there. Amanda Whurlitzer: [telling him about her date] Don't worry I've got my period. Morris Buttermaker: Are you trying to give me a stroke? Morris Buttermaker: I've been disappointed before. 复制 复制成功 复制失败,请手动复制
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