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Ted Pratt:
Yep... I smell fuckwits.
Mike Paddock:
You saved our arses back there Northey. Where'd you get the shooter?
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26
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Northey
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f0e
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:
Oh, it's my father's.
Mike Paddock:
Aren't they illegal now?
Northey:
It's for sporting purposes.
Mike Paddock:
Right. And tell me again, which sport is it that uses a semi-automatic weapon?
Northey:
Golf. He's a very aggressive golfer.
Ben Kinnear:
Fuck me rigid... he's fair up the clack!
Julie Bale:
You here on your own?
Ben Kinnear:
Yeah, my girlfriend's...
Julie Bale:
Imaginary?
Ben Kinnear:
Photocopier's busted.
Julie Bale:
Still?
Ben Kinnear:
Yeah. I have to walk round the office describing my arse to everybody.
Gavin Clack:
Welcome back to The Million Dollar Question, the show where ordinary Australians can win up to twenty thousand dollars.
Ben Kinnear:
[after kneeing Wicks in the testicles] Anyone for Plum Jam?
Pendlebury:
You guys have made a fair bit of progress. I'll be quite happy to put this one to bed.
Ben Kinnear:
I'll bet you fuckin' will.
Doug Gillespie:
That's enough! He didn't burn down an entire house full of evidence.
Ben Kinnear:
He wouldn't know where to start.
Ted Pratt:
In hospital you get to catch up on your reading.
[holds up newspapers]
Mike Paddock:
Those three disasters have been taken completely out of context!
Mike Paddock:
So why'd this bloke top himself?
Ben Kinnear:
They found some photos in the car. Let's just say the "respected magistrate" liked to... uh...
Mike Paddock:
What?
Ben Kinnear:
I'm trying to think of a legal term that has... you know, a sexual double-meaning?
Mike Paddock:
'Perform acts with underage prostitutes'?
Ben Kinnear:
Is that a legal term?
Mike Paddock:
Dunno, but it's the exact phrase I put on my Psychological Test under 'ambitions'.
[pause]
Mike Paddock:
There's someone behind me, isn't there? And it's the worst possible person it could be, isn't it?
Wicks:
Any last words?
Julie Bale:
Plum jam.
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