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Evie:
Coco, I've had more children pulled out of me than a burning orphanage.
Coco:
Happy people always make such a racket.
Evie:
What's wrong? Did my glass eye roll back?
Evie:
[about Varla] Don't worry, Coco. I met Varla and she's an absolute angel.
Coco:
Were you drunk at the time?
Evie:
It was 12 noon, of course I was drunk.
Evie:
It's like stealing money for free.
Coco:
It *is* stealing money.
[Marla pulls out a gun at Evie's party]
Evie:
Stevie, shield mommy.
Coco:
You raped me.
Dr. Benson:
Yeah... I'm sorry about that.
Coco:
Hello, I'm a rape victim here.
Michael:
You know, it's always been my dream to sleep with a big movie star.
Evie:
Well, tonight may be the night your dream comes true.
Michael:
Why, who's coming?
Varla:
You're my sister.
Evie:
[to Varla] I'm sorry to hear your mother off'd herself.
Coco:
Evie.
Evie:
Oh, I'm sorry: 'Passed herself away'.
Coco:
Your career was on hold ever since you killed that family of four.
Evie:
It was a family of six, I only killed four. I mean, who has a picnic is their backyard anyway?
Coco:
It doesn't make sense. There's no connection. And I cry for no reason and blame myself, and I've been slowly cutting off my toe with a nail file and I have no idea why.
Stevie:
What have you ever done for me?
Evie:
Carried you to term for starters. Coco would have had you sucked out for a phone number.
Evie:
It's huge.
Varla:
My mother always said, "Feelings are like treasures, so bury them."
Evie:
I admit my looks are starting to go.
Coco:
Starting to go? Evie, your looks are at home and in bed.
Evie:
Then what is it?
Stevie:
You know what it is... that family of four that you ran down.
Evie:
It was a family of *six*, I only killed four... and who has a picnic in their own back yard?
Coco:
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22
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I think we should get a dog
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fd6
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Evie:
[dragging on cigarette] I'm sorry, have I been staring?
Evie:
My career was going like gangbusters until that family made me run them down.
Evie:
Coco... friends?
Coco:
Are you high?
Evie:
A little bit, yes.
Evie:
Hi, Jeff? You rammed into me today and I want seconds.
Coco:
Evie. You were supposed to pick me up from the hospital.
Evie:
I know, honey, but I really needed the extra sleep.
Coco:
Evie, Varla said she was sorry for what she did...
Evie:
I heard her.
Coco:
Well, don't you think you said some things you could apologize for?
Evie:
Like what?
Coco:
You said she was all binge and no purge.
Evie:
I did?
[laughs]
Evie:
That's funny.
Coco:
Evie, have you ever been on morphine?
Evie:
Once, when I had my eyes done... then every day for ten years after that, why?
Evie:
One drink? What's that?
Evie:
So I said, why am I laughing? We're doing it doggy-style and your name is Barker!
Jeff:
[looking at Evie's wall photographs] You knew Mary Tyler Moore?
Evie:
Very well. Funny story... she has diabetes.
Evie:
[pointing out houses to Coco] June Allyson! You know, they offered me that Depends commercial. Lot of money, too. Just one little problem... I don't shit my pants!
Coco:
Let me help you with your duffel bag.
Varla:
[confused] My things are in the Cabriolet.
Coco:
Oh, I'm sorry. That's just your ass.
Evie:
Nothing like the first puke of the day. Martini?
Evie:
The house looks nice.
Coco:
That's because we both were going to get up early to clean it. Remember?
Evie:
I thought I'd just be in the way.
Coco:
You were in the way. That's why I moved you to your bedroom.
Varla:
But I have a plan! I'm going to hang out every day at Schwab's Drugstore... where Tina Turner was discovered!
Coco:
Dr. Perfect?
Dr. Benson:
Patient huge-tits?
Coco:
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35
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You still shouldn't have drugged and raped me.
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f2f
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Dr. Benson:
Really super sorry.
Laurent:
[to Varla] Why are you doing so far from me?
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