Notorious C.H.O. (2002) 5.9

Margaret:

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It's time that African-Americans and Korean Americans put aside their difference and focus on what's really important: hating white people!

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Margaret: I was hanging out in the one gay bar in all of Scotland. They have *one* gay bar. It was called C.C. Bloom's. C.C. Bloom's is the name of the character that Bette Midler played in Beaches. That is the gayest thing I have heard in my entire life. That place should just be called Fuck Me In The Ass... Bar and Grill. Margaret: I don't have some kind of cavernous pussy. Margaret: So, I said to him: you know, when you come over. You don't have to bring me flowers. Just bring me some Hershey's Chocolate Kisses so I can suck them off your dick. And he didn't bring them! [impersonating her ex-boyfriend] Margaret: Well, I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke! [normal voice] Margaret: What kind of fucking joke is that? That is not a joke! Knock-knock, who's there? Chocolate. Chocolate who? I'm gonna suck Chocolate off your dick! Waaah! Margaret: You feel left out? It's like a group outing! Nobody's invited. Everybody just knows to come! Margaret: [about the G-spot] If there's a woman here who has one, please show me where it is. I will follow you in my car. Because I'm starting to think that it doesn't exist. I think the G stands for: Gotcha! Made you look! Margaret: And if gay men had a period? What do you mean, if? There would be huge period circuit parties happening. Come on down to the Red Party at Club Mensies. Oooh-oooh! Margaret: I didn't know if I was going to talk about menstruation. But, I thought... I bet if Richard Pryor had a period, he would talk about it. So I felt justified. Margaret: [imitating herself as a kid] Maybe I could play a hooker in something! I'd be looking in the mirror: Sucky fucky two dollar. Me love you long time. Margaret: You have to be tough to be a drag queen. Drag queens have to fight everything. They have to fight homophobia. They have to fight sexism. They have to fight pink eye. Margaret: I just got back from Scotland. People fucking drink there! Oh my God! There's more vomit in the street than dog shit. Margaret: There's been a lot of activity in and around my ass lately. Margaret: I learned everything I know about being a woman from gay men. I learned all about sex from gay men. I kind of have sex like a gay man. I act like a gay man most of the time, actually. Margaret: [doing an impression of her mother] I think everybody little bit gay. I tell you gay story about daddy. No, I no say daddy gay. You put the word in mommy's mouth... but don't tell him I tell you. Margaret: She took the tube and she stuck it in my vagina. [grossed expression] Margaret:

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[doing an impression of her colon hydrotherapist]