Mike McNeill: What the hell is this? Frank: It's coffee. Almond Maple Roast. Mike McNeil: When did Baskin-Robbins start making coffee? Echhh. Mike McNeil: Thank you for your time. Restaurant employee: Are you really a cop? Mike McNeil: Yeah. Restaurant employee: So, you're like, in the "Bird Homicide" department. [Mike begins to walk away] Restaurant employee: See ya later, bird detective! Mike McNeil: Ok, you want to know why I'm investigating this? This whole bird poisoning thing, it's a part of a much bigger conspiracy. Can you keep a secret? Restaurant employee: Yeah, sure. Mike McNeil: That is the biggest zit I've seen in my entire life. Arrested Criminal: [Mike pulls a taxi driver out of a his cab after a wise remark and proceeds to beat the hell out of him.] Damn! Is your partner crazy? Terrence 'Pip' Phillips: No, he just quit smoking. Jan Fendrich: So what is it about the idea of two women having sex that's such a turn on for guys? Mike McNeill: Well, it's like the idea of one woman having sex, only... it's two. Jan Fendrich: Oh, well, thanks for clearing that up.