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George W. Bush:
I'm wonder woman. I'll deflect bullets with my arm bands. Shoot me general.
General:
Don't tempt me Mr. President.
[it is a last supper scene with members of the Labour Party]
Tony Blair:
My people, I have lead a peaceful live.
David Blunkett:
Well except for all those wars.
Tony Blair:
Yeah, alright. Although I am persecuted, I am confident history will show me as the saviour of mankind.
John Prescott:
Well when Alistair Campbell's finished re-writing it.
Tony Blair:
I am sure I have served my lord well.
[Cut to heaven, where we see George W. Bush as God]
George W. Bush:
HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH. Look at me. I'm Santa Claus.
Tony Blair:
But alas, one of you will betray me for thirty silver coins.
Gordon Brown:
What rubbish Tony. It was forty.
Tony Blair:
Anyway, now we shall eat. Five loaves of bread and five fish, enough to feed forty thousand...
[We hear a belch, and see John Prescott with a fish bone sticking out of his mouth]
John Prescott:
Well that was a nice starter.
[clutches stomach]
John Prescott:
Excuse me guys, I can feel a second coming.
Sven:
[about Wayne Rooney] He is young. He is learning.
General:
Schwarzenegger.
George W. Bush:
Shoreenagore.
General:
No, Schwarzenegger.
George W. Bush:
Mr. Shcwanangor.
General:
(sighs)
[Arnold Schwarzenegger enters]
General:
Mr President, Governer Schwarzenegger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
Hey, check it out
[pats Bush's head]
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
I'm patting Bush.
George W. Bush:
Mr Schwalanalananger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
Hey, now I'm stroking Bush.
[both snigger]
General:
May God have mercy on us all.
[it is far into the future]
Tony Blair:
Uh, so guys, any signs of the weapons of mass destruction yet?
[awkward pause]
[repeated line]
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
Just a little bit of harmless fun.
George W. Bush:
My daddy started the gulf war. I continued it. And now, my son, George Junior Junior will finish it. In about forty years time.
George W. Bush:
General, call off the hunt for Bin Laden.
General:
I thought we already had.
[in the future, Arnie is president]
General:
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How do you take your coffee sir?
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c06
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Arnold Schwarzenegger:
Milk and two steroids.
[Tony Blair is playing "Tony Says" with the Cabinet]
Tony Blair:
Oh, I'm bored of this game. I'm resigning, take over Gordon!
Gordon Brown:
Oh, right, absolutely!
[to Cabinet]
Gordon Brown:
Look here...
Tony Blair:
I didn't say "Tony says" Gordon.
Gordon Brown:
Oh…
[cries]
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