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1961年，一块叫“atmosphereum”的矿石坠落在在洛杉矶郊外的一个山上，勇敢的科学家决心用这块矿石来发展科学事业，他的妻子和他开始了寻找矿石的旅程。他们预见了一对可爱的从Marva星来的外星人夫妇。这对外星夫妇需要矿石来当他们飞船的燃料。在小山上还有一个脸谱式的邪恶科学...
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Kro-Bar:
Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes?
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Betty, you know what this meteor could mean to science. It could mean actual advances in the field of science.
Skeleton:
I sleep now.
Skeleton:
I HAVE RISEN!
Ranger Brad:
We take our horrible mutilations seriously around these parts.
Ranger Brad:
Well again I didn't mean to throw a damper. Believe me that's the last thing I'd like to throw. I don't want to throw anything at all really. But when folks are horribly mutilated, I feel it's my job to tell others. We take our horrible mutilations seriously up in these parts.
Betty Armstrong:
I'm sure you do. Honey, the Ranger's just doing his job.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Of course he is. I'm sorry Ranger Brad. I guess all this talk of horrible mutilation has me on edge.
Ranger Brad:
That's all right Dr. Armstrong. This horrible mutilation has a whole lot of people on a whole lot of edges.
Ranger Brad:
Oh, say... You don't believe those old legends about the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, do you?
Dr. Roger Fleming:
Ranger Brad, I'm a scientist, I don't believe in anything.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
As a scientist I just wish I could appreciate more things like cabins... bicycles...
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Why shake when we can touch other things... like lips.
[to Betty]
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Dinner was delicious, honey. Keep cooking like that an I won't even be able to move, let alone do science.
Betty Armstrong:
That'd suit me fine Mr. Meteor.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Ouch, that hurt. Tomorrow let's say you and I go searching for our rocky glowing radioactive friend from space... together.
Betty Armstrong:
Paul Armstrong, I do believe there's hope for you yet. Shake on it?
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Why shake when we can touch other things... like lips?
The Farmer:
It's okay bossy I'm here now. There, there bossy, there, there. No, no! You're not Bossy! You're not Bossy!
Kro-Bar:
Yes, it is different this earth as it is called but then are we of the planet Marva as we call our planet not also strange and different to this planet and its people also?
Lattis:
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8d
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You think the earth people think we are strange, you think? It is strange how the ways of different people on different planets differ.
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fe8
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Lattis:
Kro-Bar, Kro-Bar!
Kro-Bar:
What is it, my woman? You need not yell because of my proximity.
Lattis:
I yell not from the volume required by great distance but from happy excitement.
Dr. Roger Fleming:
I've got to get that meteor but how? How? There must be a way inside that cabin. Think! Think! Cabin... cabin... cabin.
Lattis:
I am strangely drawn to this inverted cloth funnel and its wonderful softness.
Lattis:
I like my dress so very much. That is what I can do.
Betty Armstrong:
Moons... teaspoons... that's all gibberish to me I'm afraid.
Kro-Bar:
If only I could reach you, we'd share... pain.
[Dr. Roger Fleming steals the Atmosphereum and immobolizes Kro-Bar and Lattis]
Dr. Roger Fleming:
Not moving very fast now, are you my interplanetary friends?
Kro-Bar:
So this is your idea of sharing.
Lattis:
It's not like Marvan sharing at all. This must be Earth sharing.
Dr. Roger Fleming:
You'll find much of Earth sharing works this way. It's really more like I'm sharing with myself.
Kro-Bar:
If I could only reach you, we'd share... pain.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
I might just be a test-tube-tipping lab jockey who's looked at too many shiny rocks for far too long but something tells me you know more about this than you're letting on.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Hmm... I wonder.
Dr. Roger Fleming:
Hmm... I also wonder.
Kro-Bar:
Sorry, sometimes my wife forgets that she is not an alien from outer space.
Animala:
Tip, tip, tip, tip, tip.
Ranger Brad:
I've seen a bear do things, well... even things that even a bear wouldn't do.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
The only person I want in your head is me.
Lattis:
Who knows how many untold millions will die by its hand?
Kro-Bar:
If only it did have hands, my woman. If only it did have hands.
Dr. Roger Fleming:
Even when I was a child, I was hated by skeletons!
Betty Armstrong:
I hope the owners don't mind their dishes holding a radioactive meteor.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Don't eat the meteor by mistake, whatever you do.
[they laugh]
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Seriously, we'll clean the dishes before we go.
Skeleton:
You must find the atmosphereum.
Animala:
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Amish Terrarium. Must find Amish terrarium.
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d8b
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Dr. Paul Armstrong:
I don't understand. Why does she need an Amish terrarium?
Betty Armstrong:
Don't the Amish live in open air, like us?
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Of course, Betty, it's absurd. Putting the Amish in glass cases would be inhumane.
Skeleton:
[using mind control] Bring the meteor to the skeleton.
Kro-Bar:
[using mind control] Bring the atmosphereum to Kro-Bar and Lattis.
Betty Armstrong:
I must make a skeleton meatier using a crowbar covered in lettuce.
[giving directions]
The Farmer:
Stay on this road here, past Dead Man's Curve, you'll come to an old fence, called The Devil's Fence. From there, go on foot till you come to a valley known as The Cathedral Of Lost Soap. Smack in the center is what they call Forgetful Milkman's Quadrangle. Stay right on The Path Of Staring Skulls and you come to a place called Death Clearing. Cabin's right there, can't miss it.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Looks like a perfect day for hunting space rocks, wouldn't you say Betty?
Betty Armstrong:
Oh Paul, I'm frightened.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Wh-what is it darling? What's the matter? Tell me?
Betty Armstrong:
I don't know. Nothing I can put my finger on. Not something I can see or touch or feel. But something I can't quite see or touch or feel or put my finger on.
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
Oh well. Shall we find that meteor?
Almost everyone in the film at one point or another:
Oh well.
Kro-Bar:
You know, this talking that we are doing is very helpful in getting to know your people and mine. Why, as we observed you from afar, we thought of you as little more than pleasant entertaining monkeys, so dirty and foul.
[repeated line]
Animala:
Rowr!
Dr. Paul Armstrong:
From now on, I'll stick to science, and leave the hunting alien mutants to the experts!
Betty Armstrong:
Well, I suppose if I had wanted a safe life, I wouldn't have married a man who studies rocks.
[to Lattis]
Skeleton:
You! You shall be the bride of the Lost Skeleton!
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