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"The Brak Show is a story of a neighborhood. It's the story of a family. It's the story of what happens when adults have children and th...
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Brak:
Say wh... what time you got there pardner?
Thunderclese:
Time is an abstract concept created by carbon-based life-forms to monitor their ongoing decay.
Brak:
Last time I was this happy, I was face down in a pizza pie, eatin' my way to freedom!
Brak:
Dad, I need 20 dollars.
Dad:
Yes, and I need a prehensile tail so I can grab onto things like a monkey.
Mike:
Hi there, my name's Mike, I'm a razor-toed-spine-masher, wanna be pals?
Thunderclese:
Negative.
Brak:
I'm just gonna go to my room, I won't be able to sleep though.
[snoring]
Brak:
... Man I love sleepin'... I wish I could wake up so I can go back to sleep.
Thunderclese:
[rapping] War!/It's good for me!/What's my name?
Back-up Group:
THUNDERCLEESE!
Brak:
[singing] Food can be your friend/ Or food can be your foe./ But if you eat too much of it/ to heaven you shall gooooooooo!
[Brak prepares to dissect a clam in Biology class]
Brak:
I guess it's goodbye Brak the happy, go-lucky man about town... and hello, Brak the ruthless clam slayer.
[Brak to Dad]
Brak:
Holy gherkin pickles, pop!
Dad:
[mumbling in hot tub water]
Brak:
I hope those are talking bubbles, buddy.
[Mom yells at Dad after the roof is torn off their house, she then walks away]
Dad:
[to self] I don't know why we need a roof anyway, just put a hat on and get over it!
Brak:
Mr. Tickles, how do y-how do you think Thunderclese is gonna take this?
Mr. Tickles:
Oh my God, he'll tear your arms off!
Brak:
But I love my arms! That's where my hands live!
Brak:
[to Zorak] But this money's for college.
Zorak:
[taking the money] Swipe!
Brak:
NOW I'LL NEVER BE A BARBER!
[Brak sings about his Mom]
Brak:
That's my mom! / She goes by the name of Mom! / M is for her razmatazz / O is for the way she talks / The other "M" is there because... / You can't have a mom without "M"!
[Brak asks Zorak for help]
Zorak:
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2a
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I'm not your daddy... or maybe I am.
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fc0
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Dad:
Tonight, in the dark of night, after night has shrouded my dark plan in its nightly darkness, I will exact my revenge!
[Zorak has teleported out of the scene]
Brak:
I didn't know Zorak could teleport!
Zorak:
[Omniscient voice] There are many things you don't know about me!
Brak:
Oh yeah, like what?
[Zorak teleports back in]
Zorak:
I'm forty!
[Laughs evily and teleports back out]
Brak:
Well that certainly came out of left field.
[Clarence appears, smoking a cigarette]
Brak:
Clarence! We thought you were dead!
Clarence:
Clarence the boy is dead. Say hello to Clarence the man... who just had sex.
[Brak at a party]
Brak:
Hey guys, lets throw up the booze we just drank...
[Brak comes home in tears]
Brak:
I don't want to live anymore!
[runs to his room]
Dad:
Alright, now I can finally have that study I've always wanted.
[Mom looks at him angrily]
Dad:
What? I'm half kidding, what do you people want from me?
Brak:
Hey, what happened to my bed?
[Brak's bed is covered with a thick, bubbling slime]
Zorak:
Yeah, that's my funk. Leave it alone. It's resting.
Brak:
Well, where did it come from?
Zorak:
Do you really want to know?
Brak:
No, I suppose not.
Brak:
I'll ask my Dad, he'll know what to do.
Dad:
How the hell should I know?
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