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Darren:
[describing Jeremy] Seething animal passions about to erupt through the pie crust of decorum.
Leo:
Who is it?
Darren:
I'm not sure, but his voice washed over me like a dark, powerful river.
Darren:
Rub some compost in your face, straight boys love it.
Darren:
All relationships end. You either split up or you die.
Angie:
Leo, you are a strawberry blond. You can't go out with an ash blonde. It's not right!
Darren:
All relationships end, either one of you leaves or one of you dies.
Sybil:
Oh, Leo, relax. You're quite right to choose men: women are complicated. I mean, men are kind of pathetic, but at least you know where you are.
Leo:
Why do I have to have such a complicated sex life?
Darren:
It's because you give off complicated vibrations. Simplify your vibrations, your sex life simplifies itself.
Sybil:
[after having sex] I love being a woman, not because of you but because of me.
Sally:
[finds a blindfolded naked man cuffed to her bed] What the hell is this?
Darren:
OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GERALDINE, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE SEVENTEEN!
Sally:
My name is not Geraldine and it's not my birthday
Darren:
Isn't it? This is 25 Shelldrake Avenue?
Sally:
No this is 23 Shelldrake Avenue
Darren:
Oh, how appallingly embarrassing of me, I'm an S&M-ogram, I must've gotten the wrong address
[embarrassed, under his breath]
Darren:
oh no!
Sally:
Wait... don't I know you?
Darren:
God I hope not
[she unties blindfold, he recognizes her]
Darren:
AHH!
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