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冒牌领队

冒牌领队 (1995) 5.3

Bushwhacked

1995-08-04(美国)| 冒险 喜剧 犯罪| 美国
上映时间:1995-08-04(美国) 类型: 冒险 喜剧 犯罪 家庭 灾难
国家/地区:美国 
评分: 力荐
(6人评分)
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快递员麦克斯某日送包裹到一栋豪宅,却发现屋里失火,正要呼救。有调查局干员现身指控他为了劫财,杀人放火,害他百口莫辩,拼命逃离现场后,他极力想洗刷冤情,探得三日后又有同一包裹要送往恶魔峰,于是他努力赶往该处。途中他阴错阳差地成为童军领导员,被迫带六名少年童军上山夜营,对于登山野营一...更多>

经典台词

Fishman: Sir, would it be ok if we called you Spider? Max: Why the h - - would you wanna call me that? Gordy: Because it's your nick name. Max: Well fine then. Call me Spider! Fishman: Spider. Spider. Spider! Max: WHAT? Fishman: How come your nick name's Spider? Max: Because I once killed a kid who called me Spider, one time too many! Fishman: Yeah, but how could he call you Spider one time too many if your nick name wasn't already Spider? [making smoke signals] Fishman: Ok, it's two longs and one short. No, no, no, stop. Stop wait. Two shorts and one long. Barnhill: Oh great! What are we supposed to do, cross that letter out? Max: Watcha making? Gordy: It's a crystal-dialed receiver. You know what that is, right? Max: Yeah, of course I do. That is a beauty. Gordy: That's the toolbox. [scouts singing] Max: Alright! Knock it off! What is that? We run and dance and sing and play? Gordy: My mom kinda wrote the words. Max: Well they suck! Okay? [Boys are peeing off of a ledge] Max: Shake your lizards, let 'em drain. Move your hips and... Everyone: Spell your name! Max: Send it straight, send it hard. Now a sword fight, go... Everyone: On guard! Max: Eat your veggies, eat your starches. Lean back boys... Everyone: Golden arches! Max: Alright! Now flip them and zip them and let's get going! [little kid rides up on a tricycle] Kid: Can I play too? Scouts: AAAAHHHH! Barnhill: Little kid, go home. Gordy: We're not playing, we're practicing. Kid: You guys are silly. [looking at a Playboy] Ralph: Whoa! I bet you've never seen anything like this before, huh, Barnhill. You probably don't even know about the birds and the bees your butthead. Kelsey: Oh, and you do? Ralph: Yeah. That's right, I do. Kelsey: Oh yeah? Go ahead and explain it to us. Ralph:

b3

Uh, I know it's about making babies. And I know it takes a man AND a woman to make it work right. And they both have to go into a room. And they both take their shirts off.

ff6

Fishman: No, no, no. The man doesn't have to take his shirt off. Just the woman! Barnhill: Hey! Check it out! Len Strader's in her underwear! Dana: Let me see! Barnhill: Sorry. She just ducked behind McClipman's house. Dana: Barnhill, you're such a liar. Barnhill: You're such a shrimp. [Gordy's hanging from a ledge] Max: Hey kid, how's it hanging? Alright, Gordy, I'm coming down to get you. Gordy: No! You don't know what you're doing! Max: Of course I do! I'm the Lizard! Remember? Gordy: You mean the Spider? Max: Right. Gordy: My mom says the guy who's taking us has hiked all over the world. Barnhill: I'm sure he won't be half as good as the guy me and my dad had on our trip to the Serengeti. Ralph: Barnhill, if you're dad is so friggin' cool, then why isn't he our scout leader? Barnhill: Oh yeah. Spies have a lot of time for the scouts. Ralph: Nice dolls. Barnhill: Did you bring a pretty pink umbrella too, in case it starts to rain? Kelsey: No, I figured we could all just crouch under a pair of your underwear and wait it out. Fishman: Well guys, we gotta start a fire. Better start looking for pinecones. Max: Pinecones? Fishman: It says in the manual, whenever your camp is surrounded by green wood, always use pinecones to start your fire. Max: If the manual told you to stick your wiener in a light-socket, would you do it? Ralph: We finally get to go on an overnight, and we end up at Grand Central Station. Gordy: It's better than my backyard. Ralph: Not by much. [On the phone] Marty: Grabelski! What the hell's going on? Some guy on TV said you killed somebody! Max: I know, but it's not true. I was set up. I gotta know if there's another package for Timberline Inc., to Reinhart Bragdon. Marty: What the hell's Reinhart Bragdon got to do with anything? Max: Because that's the guy I killed! Marty: Oh, so you did kill somebody. Max: No, I told you I was framed! Mr. Erickson: God bless those little scouts! Agent Palmer: What? What do you see? Mr. Erickson: Smoke signals! Right by the book. Agent Palmer: Oh, yeah! Mr. Erickson: Well, almost. Agent Palmer: What do they say? Mr. Erickson: Belp! Belp! Max:

46

Look, Kelsey, there's nothing wrong with being a little afraid.

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