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撞板三舞男

撞板三舞男 (1992) 5.9

Brain Donors

1992-04-17(美国)| 喜剧| 美国
上映时间:1992-04-17(美国) 类型: 喜剧
国家/地区:美国 
评分: 力荐
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一个律师、出租车司机和一个杂物工执行一位百万富翁的意愿合作经营一家芭蕾舞公司。三人欲极力智胜同样想管理芭蕾公司的有钱寡妇和他的大牌律师,其中滑稽夸张,笑料百出。

经典台词

Roland T. Flakfizer: And that spells cash with a capital... Jacques: K! Roland T. Flakfizer: You should go back to school. Jacques: I hated teaching. [Wondering where Flakfizer has hidden his lover] Lazlo: Ah! Your suite! Roland T. Flakfizer: You're pretty terrific yourself. Jacques: Are you Roland T. Flakfizer? Flakfizer: That all depends. Do I owe you money? Jacques: No. Flakfizer: In a drunken stupor, did I promise to marry you? Jacques: No. Flakfizer: Then I'm your man! Flakfizer: Let's step outside and settle this like men! Lazlo: We are outside. Flakfizer: OK, let's step inside and settle it like women. Roland T. Flakfizer: Money's no object! It isn't mine! Roland T. Flakfizer: I didn't know the meaning of the word "no," but he had it down pretty good. Roland T. Flakfizer: Some day you'll have my children. In fact, they're in the car if you want them. Roland T. Flakfizer: If there's anything I can ever do for you... forget it, because I don't do those kinds of things. Rocco Melonchek: You're lying. Roland T. Flakfizer: Of course I am, but hear me out! Roland T. Flakfizer: Please, call me what everyone else calls me: "Your Royal Sex Machine." Roland T. Flakfizer: Sorry, two's company, and three's an adult movie. Rocco: Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography. Tina: Was that the doorbell? Roland T. Flakfizer: That wasn't you? Lillian Oglethorpe: Then it's settled. I am so excited. Roland T. Flakfizer: You're excited? Feel these nipples. Roland T. Flakfizer: And she looks like she's about fifteen. Lazlo: No, no, no. Roland T. Flakfizer: Okay, fourteen then. In fact I know she's fourteen, because I was dating her a year ago. Roland T. Flakfizer:

d2

Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Carribbean cruise, where we can hold hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.

fc4

Roland T. Flakfizer: I'm all out of American currency. Here, take a fistful of Romanian fifties. Roland T. Flakfizer: "No?" Flakfizer doesn't know the MEANING of the word "No!" We're also a little fuzzy on "panaglutin" and "viscosity." Roland T. Flakfizer: It's said that behind every great man there is a great woman, and I'm glad the woman behind me is Lillian; because, quite frankly, I enjoy the shade. [the amount on a taxi meter is rising quickly] Roland T. Flakfizer: Aren't those numbers going by a little fast? Rocco Melonchek: You're probably just a speed reader. Roland T. Flakfizer: So, do you enjoy being a cab driver? Rocco Melonchek: Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting. Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology. Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! drop those pants... Not you, the patient. Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists... Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north. Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long instruments? Flakfizer: [Talking on cellular phone] How did the market close? Uh-huh. Well, roll over my amalgamated, split my utilities, and double my capital venture overlays. Now call me in an hour, and tell me what the hell I'm talking about! Laslow: [upon discovering that the doctors were the three men in disguise] Ah hah! So you were the doctors! Rocco: No we're not them. We're somebody else. The men you're looking for are our identical twin brothers, and you'll never see us together, 'cause we love the same women! Rocco: [as a dog rips his trouser leg] What a charming little animal. Lillian Oglethorpe: Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek? Rocco: Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant! Roland T. Flakfizer: You're not going to try and cheat me or anything. Rocco Melonchek: I give you my word a gentleman. Roland T. Flakfizer: Well you had me until then. Volare: Do you realize what I was doing at the age of seven? Roland T. Flakfizer: I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind. Volare: I was dancing professionally. Roland T. Flakfizer: Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel... Jacques: What about me? Roland T. Flakfizer:

4e

To show you no fairness, Rocco and I will also split your salary 50/50.

撞板三舞男

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