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- 片 名撞板三舞男
- 上映时间1992年04月17日(美国)
- 导 演
丹尼斯·杜根
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Roland T. Flakfizer:
And that spells cash with a capital...
Jacques:
K!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
You should go back to school.
Jacques:
I hated teaching.
[Wondering where Flakfizer has hidden his lover]
Lazlo:
Ah! Your suite!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
You're pretty terrific yourself.
Jacques:
Are you Roland T. Flakfizer?
Flakfizer:
That all depends. Do I owe you money?
Jacques:
No.
Flakfizer:
In a drunken stupor, did I promise to marry you?
Jacques:
No.
Flakfizer:
Then I'm your man!
Flakfizer:
Let's step outside and settle this like men!
Lazlo:
We are outside.
Flakfizer:
OK, let's step inside and settle it like women.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Money's no object! It isn't mine!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
I didn't know the meaning of the word "no," but he had it down pretty good.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Some day you'll have my children. In fact, they're in the car if you want them.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
If there's anything I can ever do for you... forget it, because I don't do those kinds of things.
Rocco Melonchek:
You're lying.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Of course I am, but hear me out!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Please, call me what everyone else calls me: "Your Royal Sex Machine."
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Sorry, two's company, and three's an adult movie.
Rocco:
Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography.
Tina:
Was that the doorbell?
Roland T. Flakfizer:
That wasn't you?
Lillian Oglethorpe:
Then it's settled. I am so excited.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
You're excited? Feel these nipples.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
And she looks like she's about fifteen.
Lazlo:
No, no, no.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Okay, fourteen then. In fact I know she's fourteen, because I was dating her a year ago.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
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d2
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Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Carribbean cruise, where we can hold hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.
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fc4
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Roland T. Flakfizer:
I'm all out of American currency. Here, take a fistful of Romanian fifties.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
"No?" Flakfizer doesn't know the MEANING of the word "No!" We're also a little fuzzy on "panaglutin" and "viscosity."
Roland T. Flakfizer:
It's said that behind every great man there is a great woman, and I'm glad the woman behind me is Lillian; because, quite frankly, I enjoy the shade.
[the amount on a taxi meter is rising quickly]
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Aren't those numbers going by a little fast?
Rocco Melonchek:
You're probably just a speed reader.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
So, do you enjoy being a cab driver?
Rocco Melonchek:
Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting.
Rocco Melonchek:
We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Fondue, an epidemic! drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
Doctor:
I thought you were cardiologists...
Rocco Melonchek:
Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Why do you think we have such long instruments?
Flakfizer:
[Talking on cellular phone] How did the market close? Uh-huh. Well, roll over my amalgamated, split my utilities, and double my capital venture overlays. Now call me in an hour, and tell me what the hell I'm talking about!
Laslow:
[upon discovering that the doctors were the three men in disguise] Ah hah! So you were the doctors!
Rocco:
No we're not them. We're somebody else. The men you're looking for are our identical twin brothers, and you'll never see us together, 'cause we love the same women!
Rocco:
[as a dog rips his trouser leg] What a charming little animal.
Lillian Oglethorpe:
Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek?
Rocco:
Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
You're not going to try and cheat me or anything.
Rocco Melonchek:
I give you my word a gentleman.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Well you had me until then.
Volare:
Do you realize what I was doing at the age of seven?
Roland T. Flakfizer:
I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind.
Volare:
I was dancing professionally.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel...
Jacques:
What about me?
Roland T. Flakfizer:
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4e
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To show you no fairness, Rocco and I will also split your salary 50/
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f48
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Jacques:
Thanks!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
That should you keep you out of a high income tax bracket. In fact, that you should keep you out of any income tax bracket.
Volare:
I told you before... Don't hang my tights by the crotch! it throws off my bulge!
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Miss, this seats are dreadful. They're facing the stage.
Usherette:
Five and six.
Roland T. Flakfizer:
Eleven. Now it's your turn: twenty-five and sixty-seven.
Flakfizer:
Lillian, I could make love to you right here.
Lillian Oglethorpe:
Roland, let's keep this professional.
Flakfizer:
Fine. I'll charge you fifty bucks a pop.
Volare:
My dance shoes are in the Louvre in Paris.
Flakfizer:
Big deal. Last year I left a raincoat in Cleveland.
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