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Bernard and the Genie
(1992)
- 片 名Bernard and the...
- 上映时间1991年11月23日
- 又 名Bernard and the Genie
- 编 剧
理查德·柯蒂斯
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剧 情
A genie (Lenny Henry) is punished by an evil wizard by being confined to a lamp somewhere in Arabia. 2000 years later in England Bernard Bot...
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Charles Pinkworth:
That's a good point, Bernard. That's a fully-fledged bastard of a good point.
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2b
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Frank Kepple
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c1d
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:
If you ever need anything, you just call and I'll be up there faster than a poker up a pervert.
Bernard Bottle:
So all I have to do is wish?
Genie:
As far as I know; the training for this stupid job is practically nonexistent.
Genie:
Say the words "I wish" with the caution you would normally reserve for "Please castrate me."
Genie:
I can see it now: the loving relatives, the priest, the staggeringly-attractive best man, the shagged-out bridesmaids...
Genie:
One day I was in the Temple when they tried to turn it into a supermarket; Jesus went in there and kicked ass!
Bernard Bottle:
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Genie:
Yes, but with smaller pectorals.
Bernard Bottle:
But now, I'm as happy as Michelle Pfeiffer's underpants.
Charles Pinkworth:
Suddenly my gold fountainpen has gone missing. I am therefore yours in crayon.
Charles Pinkworth:
As you know, Mr. Bottle left us yesterday, and I've been worrying about it. Do either of you think I was a little harsh on him?
Miss Purse:
[carefully] Well sir... I think perhaps you might... have given him a warning...
Charles Pinkworth:
Good, good. You're fired. I want you out of here immediately, you disastrously faded old crone! Exit ye, exit ye!
Genie:
And you are a very large turd in a horrible pink shirt.
Charles Pinkworth:
I beg your BLOODY pardon?
Charles Pinkworth:
Bugger ye off!
Genie:
You smell of peppermint and now it is time to die!
[after trying ice cream for the first time]
Genie:
It's really cold and it tastes exactly of strawberries!
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