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- 片 名异形魔怪
- 上映时间1990年01月19日(美国)
- 导 演
朗·安德伍德
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Kevin Bacon
演员
饰Valentine McK...
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Fred Ward
演员
饰Earl Bassett
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Michael Gross
演员
饰Burt Gummer
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Reba McEntire
演员
饰Heather Gumme...
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Bobby Jacoby
演员
饰Melvin Plug (...
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Ariana Richards
演员
饰Mindy Sterngo...
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Victor Wong (III)
演员
饰Walter Chang
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Valentine McKee:
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I can't believe we said no to free beer!
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Valentine McKee:
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Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.
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Earl Bassett:
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Is this a job for an intelligent man?
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Valentine McKee:
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Well, show me one and I'll ask him.
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Earl Bassett:
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We gotta run. We've got a schedule to keep.
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Valentine McKee:
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Yeah. See, we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.
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Valentine McKee:
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Earl explained it to me: we plan ahead, that way, we don't do anything right now.
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Earl Bassett:
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Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?
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[Earl Bassett and Valentine McKee are about to meet Rhonda LeBeck. Valentine McKee pictures her]
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Valentine McKee:
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You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up.
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[Earl Bassett and Valentine McKee have just been chased by a 30 foot long monster]
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?
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Valentine McKee:
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This valley is just one long smorgasbord.
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Earl Bassett:
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Damn it, listen to me. I'm older and wiser.
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Valentine McKee:
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Yeah, well you're half right.
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[Burt Gummer looks at the monster fought off with his "toys"]
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Burt Gummer:
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Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!
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[Burt Gummer looks at his bomb shelter for perhaps the last time]
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Burt Gummer:
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Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters.
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Earl Bassett:
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Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
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Valentine McKee:
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Well, sure.
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Earl Bassett:
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Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
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Valentine McKee
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ffb
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Tammy Lynn Baxter!
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Earl Bassett:
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Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
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Valentine McKee:
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Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
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Earl Bassett:
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I thought you called it your pecker.
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Valentine McKee:
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STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!
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Earl Bassett:
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[waking up] You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.
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Valentine McKee:
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Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to 'pede?
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Earl Bassett:
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I wish they'd stampede up your ass.
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Valentine McKee:
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[to Rhonda] GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!
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Earl Bassett:
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No way those things can outrun these horses!
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Valentine McKee:
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Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.
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Earl Bassett:
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Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixbe's already dead.
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Burt Gummer:
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No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump *some*place
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Valentine McKee:
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Come on you two, let's go, we're headed for the mountains!
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Burt Gummer:
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[Hefts bag of weapons] If that's how we're doin it, we're going prepared!
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Valentine McKee:
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We can't hold still long! These things are damn smart! They're getting smarter by the minute!
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Burt Gummer:
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That's fine!
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[Holds up a stick of dynamite]
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Burt Gummer:
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We got some new things to teach 'em!
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
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Valentine McKee:
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Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
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Earl Bassett:
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Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?
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Valentine McKee:
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That's how they git you. They're under the goddamned ground!
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Valentine McKee:
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Hey - check this out! I found the ass end!
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Valentine McKee:
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hearing music from below ground] So where the hell's that goddamn golden oldie comin' from?
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Valentine McKee:
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What the hell is going on! I mean what the hell is going on!
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Valentine McKee:
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I've got a goddamn plan!
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Earl Bassett:
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Hey, Rhonda you ever seen anything like this before?
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Valentine McKee:
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Oh, sure Earl. Everyone knows about them we just didn't tell you.
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[Burt cuts off a piece of fuse for a bomb for Earl]
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Earl Bassett:
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What kind of fuse is that?
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Burt Gummer:
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Cannon fuse
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Earl Bassett:
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What the hell do you use it for?
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Burt Gummer:
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My cannon!
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Earl Bassett:
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Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass!
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Valentine McKee:
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I'm gonna help you.
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[Ground Starts to bulge]
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Earl Bassett:
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Must be a million of them!
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[Grabiod breaks through the surface of the ground]
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Valentine McKee:
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Nope, just one!
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Earl Bassett:
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Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do, once a plan fails!
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Valentine McKee:
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Good luck shithead.
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Earl Bassett:
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Don't worry about me jerkoff.
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Valentine McKee:
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Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass.
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Earl Bassett:
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They must be long gone by now.
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Valentine McKee:
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Yeah. Hey, why don't you go take a little stroll and find out?
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Earl Bassett:
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No breakfast?
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Valentine McKee:
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I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.
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Earl Bassett:
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No, it was eggs. I made eggs. Over easy.
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Valentine McKee:
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The hell you did! Baloney and beans. It's your turn!
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[They go through a quick game of paper-rock-scissors, which Valentine loses]
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Valentine McKee:
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Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.
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Earl Bassett:
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What're you bringin' that vacuum cleaner, for?
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Valentine McKee:
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I like this vacuum cleaner.
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Earl Bassett:
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Y'never use it.
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Valentine McKee:
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Well, it's good for parts.
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[as the graboid feels at the building]
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Valentine McKee:
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What's it doing, Rhonda?
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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Why do you keep asking me?
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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[to Val] Well, thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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I think I have a plan. Why don't we throw a bomb the way we want to go and then when it goes off, we run like goddamn bastards!
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[Everyone looks at her]
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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Pardon my French.
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[repeated line]
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Earl Bassett:
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Pardon my French!
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[Monster slams into a concrete retaining wall]
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Earl Bassett:
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Stupid son-of-a-bitch, knocked itself cold!
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2e
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Valentine McKee
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f58
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Cold, my ass, he's dead! We killed it. We killed it! *Fuck you!*
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[trapped on top of a boulder by a Graboid, Val, Earl, and Rhonda are thinking of explanations for where the creatures came from]
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Valentine McKee:
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[joking] They're mutations caused by radiation. No, wait; the government made 'em. *Big* surprise for the Russians.
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record... Okay, so they predate the fossil record.
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[not buying it herself]
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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That'd make them a couple of billion years old... and we've just never seen one until now. Right.
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Earl Bassett:
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I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.
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Walter Chang:
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Earl. Here's some swiss cheese and some bullets.
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Earl Bassett:
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[yelling] AHHH! AHHH!
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Valentine McKee:
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What? What is it?
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Earl Bassett:
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Damn prairie dog burrow.
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Valentine McKee:
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Sons a bitches.
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Valentine McKee:
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[to Earl] Who died and made you Einstein?
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Rhonda LeBeck:
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No, you don't understand, these creatures are absolutely unprecedented.
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Nestor:
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Yeah, but where do they come from?
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Earl Bassett:
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You little asswipe! You don't knock it off you're gonna be shittin' this basketball... pardon my French!
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Earl Bassett:
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[Valentine has just freed the truck from a hangup, after a struggle] Y'know, that's a good way to break an axle.
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Valentine McKee:
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Could you shut up?
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Earl Bassett:
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Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here!
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Valentine McKee:
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[long pause] Crybaby.
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Earl Bassett:
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Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.
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Earl Bassett:
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Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!
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Valentine McKee:
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We decided to leave town just one damn day to late!
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Valentine McKee:
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What the hell's in those things, Burt?
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Burt Gummer:
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A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.
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Earl Bassett:
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So we're stuck here. That pisses me off.
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Earl Bassett:
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[after digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mits on this for no 15 bucks.
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Valentine McKee:
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You got that right!
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