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Dorf: So let's get started. Leonard, hand me the club. Leonard: What? Dorf: The club! I need the right club! Leonard: Club's over there. Dorf: Leonard, that's the clubHOUSE. Leonard: It's pretty, isn't it? Dorf: [sarcastically] Isn't it, though? Dorf: Leonard, why don't you consider getting to bed a little early tonight? You wouldn't want to miss a visit from the IQ fairy. Dorf: Leonard, get me the three. Leonard: Three? Dorf: Yes, Leonard. One, two, four, five, figure out what's missing. Leonard: I got it! Dorf: Good, Leonard! You get your numbers and colors down and you're going to be a real threat! Leonard: Ya got a pencil? Dorf: Now why would I be having a pencil? Leonard: So I can mark the ball. Dorf: Now Leonard, with dat well-trained caddy eye of yours, how far would you say we are from da nearest hole? [Leonard takes a long moment to look far across the course.] Leonard: Far. Leonard: You know, you got thirty-six points on the first three holes alone! [The course map has just fallen on Dorf's head.] Dorf: Boom-Boom? Da sign go bang-bang here. [Dorf is in the rough trying to get his ball out while Leonard watches on from a far distance.] Dorf: [shouting] Leonard! Keepa your eye ona da ball! [Pause.] Leonard: [shouting] Right! [Dorf swings and misses.] Leonard: [shouting] Was that a stroke? Dorf: [shouting] No! When you hit da ball, it's a stroke! Dat was just practice! Leonard: [shouting] Right! [Dorf swings and misses again.] Leonard: [shouting] Another practice? Dorf: [shouting] Shut up! Leonard: You got a lotta points now!

Dorf on Golf

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