"The Real Ghost Busters" 5.1

advertisement Egon Spengler: Sometimes I think the universe just waits for me to get cocky. Peter: [during a dream] A good imagination is a joy forever. The Bogeyman: I remember you! Peter Venkman (I): Egon, remember what I said. If you're gonna stay on this planet, you have to speak our language. [the Ghostbusters are on the demon Dib Deblin's game show] Winston Zeddemore (I): I sold my soul to the devil. I sold my soul to the devil. Egon Spengler: Actually, Winston, Dib Devlin is only a minor demon. Winston Zeddemore (I): I sold my soul to a minor demon. I sold my soul to a minor demon. [after confronting the Bogeyman] Egon Spengler: We've gotta go after it. Winston Zeddemore (I): No, we don't. Show me where it says that. Doomsday Door: Do not open until Doomsday! Peter Venkman (I): It's times like this that I wish I'd listened to what my dad used to tell me. Winston Zeddemore (I): Yeah? What was that? Peter Venkman (I): I don't know. I never listened. [Having a conversation with himself] Peter Venkman: "So, Peter, did you have a nice day?" Oh, yeah. I argued with a hat and coat rack. "Oh, really?" Yeah. Peter: How come we never meet anything cute? It's always big and mean with lots of teeth. Egon Spengler: You know, we're all descendants from fish. It would be no trouble at all to flip back in time, find the fish you descended from, and stuff it into a Cuisinart. Peter Venkman (I): This is almost as much fun as catching bowling balls with my teeth. Egon Spengler: Peter, do you know how to set your proton pack on explosive overload? Peter Venkman (I): No. Egon Spengler: I do. Peter Venkman (I): This is not fun! I've had fun! This isn't it! Peter Venkman (I): Seven years of college and I can never remember if it's positive to negative or positive to positive. Peter Venkman (I): [plugging in a wire] Let's see. I can never remember if it's positive to negative or positive to positive. [the Ghostbusters respond to a false alarm] Peter Venkman (I): We should have charged her for the call. Winston Zeddemore (I): Come on, Peter. She was someone's grandmother. Peter Venkman (I): As long as she wasn't mine. Egon Spengler: Do you talk about the loons and the scoundrels in your family tree? Peter Venkman (I): If I didn't, I wouldn't have anybody to talk about. Egon Spengler: Notice the vacant stare, the completely mindless look. That could only mean one thing. Winston Zeddemore (I): She's from California? Egon Spengler: No. She's been hypnotized. Egon Spengler: Cthulhu makes Gozer look like Little Mary Sunshine. Peter Venkman (I): [about Cthulhu] Anything that looks like Godzilla wearing an octopus hat shouldn't be hard to find. Ray Stantz: [Falsetto voice] I think I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Peter Venkman (I): Ray's fine now. [Egon takes Peter to the opera] Peter Venkman (I): The Met? I thought you said the Mets. Ray Stantz: Anybody having any luck? Peter Venkman: That depends. You mean, like, good luck? Peter Venkman: I've always loved trains, ever since I was a little boy. I used to dream about driving a big locomotive. I studied engineering in college for two years before I found out it didn't have anything to do with trains. Man: Would you be Mr. Raymond Stantz? Egon Spengler: No, not by choice. Egon Spengler: Maybe the noise was physical in origin. Squirrels on the roof perhaps. [a huge pounding sound starts to shake the whole house] Peter Venkman: Squirrels, Egon? Egon Spengler: Okay, FAT squirrels, playing basketball. Satisfied? [Egon wakes up from his dream] Egon Spengler: That's it! E=MC2. E=... [the street crowd watches Egon] Egon Spengler: Never mind, just never mind. Ray Stantz: Oh, Peter. Will you tell me a bedtime story? Peter Venkman: Okay. Once upon a time there were four Ghostbusters who were trying to catch the Boogeyman but they couldn't because one of them wouldn't shut up and go to sleep. The end. [Peter and Egon are going to search for a troll in the Holland Tunnel] Ray Stantz: [shouting] Remember there could be giant ants, like in Santa Clara, in 1950! [Egon backs the car up and Peter rolls down the window] Peter Venkman: Not funny. Peter: Oh, no! I'm not going anywhere until I've had my breakfast. Ray: Mrs. Robinson's dress is WHAT? Egon: No, Ray. Mrs. Robinson is WHAT. Peter Venkman: He did it again! He slimed me in my sleep. [Ray, Egon and Winston try holding Peter back] Peter Venkman: Just let me zap him with the proton blaster. Please. Egon Spengler: Woah, Peter. Just calm down and ask him why he was sleeping in your bed. Peter Venkman: Okay, we'll try it your way. Slimer, come here. Why were you sleeping in my bed? [Slimer quickly begins to explain to Peter that his night light burnt out and he didn't want to sleep by himself] Peter Venkman: You mean to tell me that you couldn't sleep in your own bed because your night light burnt out and you didn't want to sleep by yourself? That's great. Ray Stantz: Hey, I've got an idea... HEY, SLIMER! PIZZA! Peter Venkman (I): Don't fear... Dr Venkman and his STAFF are here! Man: I'd like to welcome you to the studio. Ray Stantz: Wow! This is really fantastic! It looks just like the real thing! Man: That's why we wanted you here to advise us, make sure we're doing it right. After-all, this is your life story. Peter Venkman (I): No problem. As long as you got the right people to play us. Admit it, Redford was dying to play me, right? Man: Not exactly. Here's the cast list. Winston Zeddemore (I): Murray, Aykroyd and Ramis? What's that - a law firm? Winston Zeddemore (I): Is it over? Peter Venkman (I): No, I think I'm still alive. Egon Spengler: [translating Peter's grunts after he has just woken up] "Get out of my face or eat flaming terror." Egon Spengler: [referring to the writing on a stone tablet] It's Sumerian. Winston Zeddemore (I): Can you read Sumerian? Egon Spengler: In my sleep. Underwater with the lights off. Of course I can read Sumerian. Egon Spengler: [checking the equipment. Egon notices Peter's not paying attention] Transwarp drive? Peter: [yawning] Check. Egon Spengler: Ha! Caught you. We don't have transwarp drive. Peter: If we don't have it, it's not broken. If it's not broken it doesn't need to be fixed. If it doesn't need to be fixed it's a "check." So "Check" Egon Spengler: [fuming] I'm not speaking to you for a week. [the Ghostbusters discover that they must be trapped in the Doomsday Door without a chance of escape in order to close it and save the world] Peter Venkman (I): [yelling over wind] Egon, you kidder! I'll bet you knew this all along and just didn't tell us! Am I right? Egon Spengler: [yelling] It's our only chance! But I figured if I told you the whole story, you wouldn't want to do it! Peter Venkman (I): [yelling] That's a terrible thing to say, Egon! [aside] Peter Venkman (I): You're right, of course, [yelling] Peter Venkman (I): but it's still a terible thing to say! Egon Spengler: I'm not speaking to you for a week. It's not good for me. Peter Venkman: Hey, don't make fun. This is how I got through college. Peter: [Peter singing in the shower when suddenly Slimer pours out of the faucet above and onto his head] Slimer! How about some privacy! Peter: If I ever see another bug again it'll be too soon. Like I said before, the world would be better off without them. Egon Spengler: That's not true, Peter. The world couldn't survive without insects. Ray Stantz: That's right. Our whole eco-system depends on them. So give them a break, all right? Peter: But they're all so ugly! Winston Zeddemore (I): Look again, Peter! [a brightly colored butterfly lands on Peter's nose] Ray Stantz: You know, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Slimer: Beautiful! Ray Stantz: [Ray has just plowed through a pretzel stand to avoid an oncoming vehicle] That road hog! Peter Venkman (I): [holding a bag of pretzels] Nice driving, Ray! [then to a stunned Winston] Peter Venkman (I): Pretzel? [after a magic book zooms down a pit, as part of Vladimir's ceremony to summon an "Old One"] Vladimir: Flee, before I destroy you all! Dr. Peter Venkman: Excuse me, but did it occur to you that your best weapon against us was that book, and that now it's down there, and you, you're pretty much up here? Vladimir: ...Good point.