advertisement Katherine Olivia Gatling: Benson, what's a broken heart? Benson DuBois: Oh, there's no such thing, Katie. It's just a term we use to describe one of life's little disappointment that comes close to killing you. [Repeated line] Gretchen: I HEAR YOU! Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: I make money the old-fashioned way. I inherit it. [Marcie is checking on the results of an election Taylor was running in] Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: So how did Taylor do? Marcy Hill: He lost. He came in sixth. Benson DuBois: How did he come in sixth? There were only five candidates. Marcy Hill: There was a large write-in for "None of the above". Pete Downey: I'll never be a hero. I had a chance once. Janine's cat was drowning in the pool and I jumped in to save it. But when I realized I had to give it mouth-to-mouth, I threw it back in. Gretchen: So, all we have to do is knock a hole in the wall and let the sunshine in. Benson DuBois: Why don't you knock a hole in your head and let some brains in. Marcy Hill: Clipper ship bound for Spain, all that gold and Phillipe. How romantic. I hope the ship sank. Benson DuBois: [after Denise tells him she's pregnant] You're gonna make a terrific mother. And Pete will make a fine... playmate for the child. Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: You heard it from the horse's mouth. Benson DuBois: And now we're hearing it from the other end. [Benson meets Kraus for the first time] Gretchen: You are getting muddy footprints all over my clean floor and it is disgusting! Benson DuBois: Fine, I'll walk on my hands. [Benson meets the governor for the first time] Marcy Hill: Governor Gatling, I'd like to introduce... Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Introduce? Oh, this man needs no introduction. I'd know the Reverend Jesse Jackson anywhere. [Benson is at home when the phone rings] Benson DuBois: [answering the phone] Hello? Oh, hi, governor. Sure, you can come over. All right, see you then. Bye. [Benson hangs up. A few seconds later, the doorbell rings. Benson answers it to find the governor at the door] Benson DuBois: What'd you do? Beam over? [Benson walks into the governor's office] Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Benson, I must be psychic. I was just thinking of you and here you are. Benson DuBois: Governor, you sent for me. Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Oh. That's probably why I was thinking of you. Gretchen: I'm going out and have myself a wild time. Benson DuBois: Don't forget your library card. Chapman: Mister DeBasie? Benson DuBois: Dubois, Senator. I think you had me confused with COUNT DeBasie. Pete Downey: Hi, Denise. Whatcha reading? Denise Florence Stevens Downey: It's a magazine article that uses the quantum theory to describe infinity. Pete Downey: Is it any good? Denise Florence Stevens Downey: Yeah, but it goes on forever. Benson DuBois: [Benson is firing a pain-in-the-neck staffer] It hasn't been sweet, but hallelujah, it's been short. Gretchen: You insult my cooking. You insult my looks. You insult the way I dress... Benson DuBois: Did I miss something? [the snowplowers are on strike] Benson DuBois: Why don't we call out the National Guard for this? Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: We can't. I sent them to New Mexico for desert training. Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: Desert training? There's no desert around here! Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: I know. That's why I sent them to New Mexico.