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Bugs Bunny:
[Hiding from some rabbits along the rail] A few of my poor relations. They're always ready for a touch.
Bugs Bunny:
Eh, what's up, Doc?
Yosemite Sam:
What's up? Why, you hornery, fur-bearing critter! This here is one of them there train robbery hold-ups.
Bugs Bunny:
Yeah? Well, you must be Jesse James.
Yosemite Sam:
Jesse James? Ha ha ha! Phooey! Why, everybody knows me. I'm Yosemite Sam, the meanest, toughtest, rip-roaringest, Edward-Everett-Hortonest hombre whatever packed a six-shooter.
[Fires some shots in the air]
Yosemite Sam:
That's who I am!
Bugs Bunny:
You don't say? Well, come 'ere, shorty, come 'ere. Don't say I told ya, but there's a guy in the next car who says he's the meanest, toughest, et cetera, et cetera, and he's got a seven-shooter to prove it. How's about that?
Yosemite Sam:
There is? Why, I'll blast the varmit wide open!
Yosemite Sam:
Be you the mean hombre that's a-hankerin' for a heap of trouble, stranger? Well, be ya?
Bugs Bunny:
I be.
Yosemite Sam:
I'm a-givin' ya one second to draw a gun.
Bugs Bunny:
[Takes out pencil and paper and draws a picture of a gun] How's that, chunky?
Yosemite Sam:
Say, that's a right smart picture you got there, partner. You know, I'm fair middling with a pencil myself. Looky here.
[Tries to draw, but he messes it up and erases it; he tries again, then erases it again]
Yosemite Sam:
Quit a-looking over my shoulder! It bothers me.
[He finally gets it right and shows it to Bugs]
Yosemite Sam:
There. How's that?
Bugs Bunny:
Hmm... Mmm-hmm... Hmmm... It stinks.
Yosemite Sam:
Why you...!
Narrator:
Is this the end of Bugs Bunny? Will our hero be dashed to bit on the jagged rocks below?
Bugs Bunny:
[Walks into frame dragging a tied-up Yosemite Sam] Is he doomed to utter destruction? Will he be rendered non compos mentis? Eh, he don't know me very well, do he?
Bugs Bunny:
[substituting for Sam's hat, Bugs bangs on a door and speaks in a muffled voice] Alright, Sam, we know you're in there. Open up. This is the sheriff.
Yosemite Sam:
Oh, no ya don't! I ain't a-givin' up without a struggle! Come and get me!
[Fires his guns at the door]
Bugs Bunny:
Ah ha ha ha! Ya missed me, Sam. I'm a-comin' to get you through the window!
[Sam fires his guns at the window]
Bugs Bunny:
Ah ha ha ha! That's mighty bad shootin', Sam. Look, I'm right behind ya!
[Sam fires his gun wildly]
Bugs Bunny:
No, Sam, here I am. No, here, here! No no, here.
[This goes on for a while until Bugs ends it by pouring a bottle of red ink on Sam's head. Sam believes he has been shot]
Yosemite Sam:
The varmint got me. I'm a-headin'... for the last... round-up.
[collapses, goes into a seizure frenzy and stiffens. Bugs barges in with a guitar]
Bugs Bunny:
[singing] Oh, bury me not/On the lone prairie, Where the wild coyotes/Will howl on me
[while this is happening, Sam is revived by the ink dripping onto his face, and grills Bugs]
Yosemite Sam:
[very calmly] Why did you pour ink on my head?
Bugs Bunny:
Heh heh. Well, so long.
[runs off]
[last lines]
Yosemite Sam:
[Bugs is tied up and hanging from a rope on top of the train as it lingers over a concrete bridge] Now, you lop-eared polecat, try and get out of this one!
[Sam begins to cut the rope and caption cards dominate the scene]
Narrator:
Is this the end of bugs bunny? will our hero be dashed to bits on the jagged rocks below?
Bugs Bunny:
Is he to be doomed to utter destruction? Will he be rendered non-corpus mentus?
[Bugs walks into frame dragging a tied-up Sam behind him, with a bag of money in his hand]
Bugs Bunny:
Eh, he don't know me very well, do he?
[chews on a carrot as the picture irises out]
Bugs Bunny:
[Opens the door to the club car to find a large, live-action saloon inside] Now that's what I call deluxe accomodations.
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