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If a Body Meets a Body
(1945)
-
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Moe Pink:
Blow out that candle.
Curly Q. Link:
Oh, no! Then it'll be dark! I'm scared!
Moe Pink:
Blow out that candle or I'll blow out your brain. Or a facsimile thereof.
Curly Q. Link:
Or a facsimile thereof... all right.
Curly Q. Link:
Pardon me, I...
Detective:
Who're you?
Curly Q. Link:
[indignantly] I'm Curly Q. Link!
Detective:
Oh, you're the missing Link!
Curly Q. Link:
No, I'm da found Link! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
Curly Q. Link:
[reading his uncle's will] "To my niece, Elisa Link, I leave one million, two hundred fifty thousand dollars. To my nephew, Curly Q. Link... That's me! That's me!
Larry Mink:
Yes! Yes!
Moe Pink:
How much. How much?
Curly Q. Link:
"To my nephew, Curly Q. Link, I leave a sum total of sixty seven cents, net."
Moe Pink:
[in despair] Sixty seven cents!
Curly Q. Link:
Sixty seven cents!
Larry Mink:
Sixty seven cents!
[they hit each other, pull out their own hair and say it over and over again until fade out]
Larry Mink:
Here's one. "Wanted: Gravediggers."
Moe Pink:
No, no, too morbid.
Curly Q. Link:
Da morbid, da merrier! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
Curly Q. Link:
You know my name is Curly Q. Link!
Larry Mink:
What's the "Q" stand for? Quincy?
Curly Q. Link:
No.
Moe Pink:
Quillip?
Curly Q. Link:
No.
Moe Pink:
What does the "Q" stand for?
Curly Q. Link:
Cuff.
Larry Mink:
Oh, Cuff Link!
Jerkington:
[creepily] Goodnight, gentlemen. I hope you have a nice LONG sleep.
Moe Pink:
Thanks, Dracula.
Larry Mink:
[about Curly's soup] Smells like a dead horse!
Moe Pink:
Didn't you say you were born in Oxford?
Curly Q. Link:
I can't remember. I was born awfully young.
Moe Pink:
Don't tell me you've never heard of Link, Mink, and Pink!
Detective:
Never heard of them! What do they do?
Moe Pink:
We're in the sausage business. Link sausage, Mink sausage, and Pink sausage!
Moe Pink:
[finds a horseshoe in his soup] Why you numbskull, we sent you to the butcher shop for meat, not the glue factory.
[hits Curly with the horseshoe]
Larry Mink:
He's trying to poison us, that's what.
Moe Pink:
You get out of this house before I split your throat from ear to ear you Lucrezia Borgia.
Curly Q. Link:
If that means what I think it does...
Moe Pink:
So what?
Curly Q. Link:
So I'll go.
Moe Pink:
Hark, who goes there?
Curly Q. Link:
Friend or enemy?
Larry Mink:
Give us the countersign.
Moe Pink, Curly Q. Link, Larry Mink:
[Detective slaps all three of them] Pass, friend.
Curly Q. Link:
It's dark in here!
Moe Pink:
I can see the darkness!
[finds Curly standing on his and Larry's shoulders]
Moe Pink:
Oh it's you! Boy will you come on?
Curly Q. Link:
[gets down] I don't like darkness!
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