碧血烟花 (1939) 5.9

Tom Destry Jr.: Oh, I think I'll stick around. Y'know, I had a friend once used to collect postage stamps. He always said the one good thing about a postage stamp: it always sticks to one thing 'til it gets there, y'know? I'm sorta like that too. [Having sworn in his new deputy] Washington Dimsdale: Here's your badge. Don't let anybody see it. Tom Destry Jr.: Well, you will fool 'em, Wash. We'll fool 'em together. Washington Dimsdale: The only way to do that is fill 'em full of lead. Tom Destry Jr.: No, no, no, what for? You shoot it out with 'em and for some reason or other, I don't know why, they get to look like heroes. But you put 'em behind bars and they look little and cheap, the way they oughta look. Tom Destry Jr.: I'll bet you've got kind of a lovely face under all that paint, huh? Why don't you wipe it off someday and have a good look - and figure out how you can live up to it. Tom Destry Jr.: He reminds me of a little kid I used to know. He done in both his pa and ma with a crowbar. The judge said to him, he said, "Do you got anything to say for yourself?" and the kid said, "Well I just hope your honor has some regard for the feelings of a poor orphan." Washington Dimsdale: Oh, Tom! Look here! Look at this post! Soaked through and through with the blood of Sawtooth McGhee. Yeah, he objected to a petticoat a neighbor's wife was wearing... and they fit to a draw. Both are buried in the same grave. Tom Destry Jr.: Sawtooth and the petticoat? Washington Dimsdale: No! Sawtooth and the neighbor! And four innocent bystanders! [Destry & Dimsdale have stopped the gunfight at the Claggett farm. One of Kent's men points a gun at Dimsdale and Destry hits him on the neck with his gloves] Tom Destry Jr.: Big bee - about that big - right on the back of your neck. I got him, though. Jack Tyndall: I ain't one of your weak-livered citizens that busts out cryin' every time you snap your fingers and I ain't gonna pay Kent's fancy prices. Now whaddaya aim to do about it? Tom Destry Jr.: Nothing at present. Jack Tyndall: That's what I thought. Well, I'll get somethin' done about it if I have to take the law in my own hands! Tom Destry Jr.:

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Nobody's gonna set themselves up above the law around here, ya understand? I got somethin' to say to you. I think maybe I could illustrate it a little better if I told you a story: I used to have a friend that was an opry singer. Then he went into the cement business - and one day he fell into the cement. And now he's the cornerstone of the post office in St. Louis, Missouri. He should have stuck to his own trade. You better stick to yours.

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Washington Dimsdale: Frenchy, am I really Sheriff? Frenchy: Sure you are! Washington Dimsdale: Then I'm off the liquor. A man's got to choose between the bottle and the badge. [Wash announces he will send for Tom Destry to be his Deputy Sheriff] Frenchy: But Destry's dead! Bugs Watson: That makes him the right man for the job. Gyp Watson: Save us a lot of trouble. Washington Dimsdale: Is that so? Well, young Tom ain't dead and his father brought him up to be the toughest and fightin'est man that ever growed up in the West! He ain't got as big a name as his pa, but he cleaned up Tombstone and I'm sendin' for him to be my deputy and when he gets here, Destry will ride again! [Boris has bet and lost his pants in game of poker] Boris: Frenchy, think of my position. I've met every king in Europe! Frenchy: Now you've met two aces in Bottleneck. Off with your pants. Kent: I collect Deputy Sheriff's guns. Whenever I meet a new deputy, I ask him for his gun and I ask him real nice. Tom Destry Jr.: I'm sorry, Mr. Kent. I'm afraid this here's one gun your collection's going to be minus. Kent: You mean I'm going to have to take it? Tom Destry Jr.: If you can. Now, hold on! Hold on. Don't get excited here. I'm just tryin' to tell you that I ain't got any guns. You see if I woulda had a gun then, why, one of us might have been hurt and it might be me. I wouldn't that to happen... would I? Lily Belle: Hey you! Give me those pants. And from now now on, leave my husband alone. Frenchy: I don't want your husband, Mrs. Callahan - all I want is his money... and his pants. Lily Belle: And how'd you get 'em? By making eyes at him while you cheated, you gilded lily! Frenchy: But Mrs. Callahan, you know he would rather be cheated by me than married to you. Frenchy: Get out before I kill you! Tom Destry Jr.: You mean you haven't been tryin'? Washington Dimsdale: How are you going to face anybody after what you took from Kent and Frenchy? Tom Destry Jr.: Whadja expect me to do? Washington Dimsdale: I expected you to be like your pa, comin' out blasting behind your shootin' irons! And what happened? You didn't have any? Why? Tom Destry Jr.: I don't believe in 'em. Washington Dimsdale: You did the last time I heard about ya. What in thunder has come over ya since then? Tom Destry Jr.: Wash, my pa had these [guns] Tom Destry Jr.: on that day in Tombstone when he got shot in the back. Didn't seem to do him much good, did they? That's one reason I don't believe in 'em. Washington Dimsdale:

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What in tarnation do you believe in?