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Billy Crystal
演员
饰Lodge Turkell...
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Harry Shearer
演员
饰Keen Hacksaw ...
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Lodge Turkell:
I'm Lodge Turkell bringing you me...
Keen Hacksaw:
Is that her score or the reading on the Ritcher scale?
[the boxing event is about to start. Turkell has Joey Gongolong, a kangaroo with similarities to Muhammad Ali, for an interview]
Lodge Turkell:
With me, one of the greatest fighters of this or any other time, Joey Gongolong.
[to Gongolong, who's sparring with the camera]
Lodge Turkell:
Champ, shortly you'll be facing the toughest challenge of your long and, I might add, controversial fighting career: the Eurasian, Janos Brushteckel. Champ, take a look at the monitor and feel free, as I'm sure you do, to comment.
[Brushteckel, a bull, appears on screen, already looking dazed]
Joey Gongolong:
That face is almost as ugly as yours, Rugs. He's too *ugly* to be champ!
Lodge Turkell:
[as a shot of Brushteckel in training appears] True enough. But I've seen that vicious left hook of his, and Champ, you'd better stop fooling around, and take this challenger seriously.
Joey Gongolong:
Why you talkin' 'bout takin' me seriously? I did everythin' I could t'get ready for this fight.
[a flashback to Gongolong's training ensues as he describes it in voiceover]
Joey Gongolong:
The up 'n down on the hardwood floors... didn't eat no meat, it lays in your stomach, makes ya fat and lazy and heavy.
[grimaces at the single pea he's been served instead]
Joey Gongolong:
Everytime in my career, you're on my back! I've trained hard for this Bussmeckel, Bussbeckel, Bussteckel - I can't even pronounce his name, that's why I'm gonna whip him so bad, he's gonna *look* like his last name *sounds*.
[the flashback ripples back to the interview]
Joey Gongolong:
I'm the greatest animal champion *of all time!*
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