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Marion Cunningham:
Richie just hasn't got the appetite that Chuck has.
Howard Cunningham:
Marion, Argentina hasn't got the appetite that Chuck has.
Richie Cunningham:
All we had was beer in teeny-weeny little glasses.
Howard Cunningham:
How many teeny-weeny little glasses did you have?
Richie Cunningham:
Seventy-two.
Howard Cunningham:
I think it's time for some teeny-weeny cups of coffee.
Ralph Malph:
You're such a Potsie!
Ralph Malph:
[Richie is worried that he's going crazy] Come on, Richie! You're no crazier than the rest of us! Look at Potsie. You think he's normal? And Fonzie... super-cool Fonzie. Fonzie with his "Ayyy!" I mean, that's pretty... that's really sicko when you come right down to it.
Richie Cunningham:
I wouldn't let him hear you say that.
Ralph Malph:
You tell him I said that, and I'll deny it! Every word!
Richie Cunningham:
OK, Ralph - take it easy.
Ralph Malph:
Now you take me - nice, normal Ralphie Malphie. I got no quirks. But I know what they're saying about me. They're saying my hair's too neat, I'm too cute, and girls crave my bod.
Richie Cunningham:
They're not saying that, Ralph.
Ralph Malph:
Yes they are. They're also saying that I look like a movie star because my teeth are too even.
[watching a Chicago Bears football game in 1956]
Ralph Malph:
That Bears quarterback is no good. He's washed up. He's
Richie Cunningham:
That's ridiculous. George Blanda still has a few more good years left.
Richie Cunningham:
So how did you do on that social studies test?
Potsie Weber:
I missed that question on Alaska. I hear they want to make it a state now.
Richie Cunningham:
That'll never happen.
The Fonz:
Heyyy!
The Fonz:
You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
Richie Cunningham:
Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
The Fonz:
Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee!
Howard Cunningham:
Why can't you be a normal boy and swallow goldfish?
Jenny Piccalo:
I wouldn't miss this for a weekend with the Green Bay Packers as their towel girl!
[Fonzie's feet are sore from dancing and needs to be held up]
Fonzie:
Aaaay, I'm up and moving!
Richie Cunningham:
You're in La-La land, Fonz.
Fonzie:
Let me tell ya, it's a lot of fun in La-La land!
Ralph Malph:
I've still got it!
Charles 'Chachi' Arcola:
Wa! Wa! Wa!
Richie Cunningham:
I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill.
The Fonz:
You ain't nobody until you do what you want!
[Marion and Fonzie have been practicing in secret to enter a ballroom dance contest - the family has caught them and offered to take Marion home]
The Fonz:
Wait a minute. I don't understand something here. I practice all week until I have to limp home and soak my feet. I spend 18 dollars and fifty cents on a monkey suit. Two nerds come to room, lock me in my bathroom and start calling names. Sherlock Holmes here chases me and starts yelling at me. Cunningham threatens me with physical violence, Shortcake kicks me in the leg and you all want to go home happy. We let me tell you something, you're not going anywhere lady. THE FONZ WANTS TO DANCE!
Count Mallachi:
Release the doves!
The Fonz:
[after Chachis has accidentally burned down Arnold's by not turning off the grill] The man trusted you! What did you do, send your brain on vacation?
Charles 'Chachi' Arcola:
Fonz... It was an accident.
The Fonz:
[livid] No! Accidents just happen! This is *your fault*! *You* caused this! Irresponsibility!
Charles 'Chachi' Arcola:
[in tears] I'm sorry!
Potsie Weber:
Rich! Rich!
Ralph Malph:
Come quick!
Richie Cunningham:
What? Is there something wrong?
Potsie Weber:
It's a shark!
Ralph Malph:
The Fonz...
Richie Cunningham:
Fonz got eaten by a shark?
Potsie Weber:
He did? Who said that?
Ralph Malph:
Not me! What're you talking about?
Richie Cunningham:
Well, you just said "The shark...?
Ralph Malph:
Nooo! Listen! The Fonz is gonna jump *over* a shark!
Richie Cunningham:
A shark? That is the *stupidest* thing I have ever heard!
Fonzie:
Stupid, yes. Also dumb. But it is something I've gotta do.
Richie Cunningham:
Fonz, you're not jumping over garbage cans on a bike. You're jumping over a shark. On nothing! On a couple of little skis! One little slip and chomp! Chomp! Chomp!
Fonzie:
Thanks a lot for your support. Look, I was challenged. I gotta jump.
[in the final scene of the final episode, Howard proposes a toast]
Howard Cunningham:
Well, what can I say? Both of our children are married now and they're starting out to build lives of their own. And I guess when you reach a milestone like this you have to have to reflect back on, on what you've done and, and what you've accomplished. Marion and I have not climbed Mount Everest or written a great American novel. But we've had the joy of raising two wonderful kids, and watching them and their friends grow up into loving adults. And now, we're gonna have the pleasure of watching them pass that love on to their children. And I guess no man or woman could ask for anything more. So thank you all for being, part of our family... To happy days.
The Fonz:
Arnold, go and cook up a couple of burgers for us.
Matsuo 'Arnold' Takahashi:
But I just cleaned the grill!
The Fonz:
Well, good! Then maybe they'll taste better!
[repeated line]
Richie Cunningham:
Sit on it!
The Fonz:
[to his class]
The Fonz:
Don't you understand, your brain is clay and I gotta *squeeze* it!
[class is startled]
The Fonz:
[then calmly] Let me put that another way...
[Fonzie and Pinky have had a fight and are sitting at the dinner table]
Richie Cunningham:
Dad, uh, can you come upstairs with me for a minute?
Howard Cunningham:
I haven't finished my dessert yet.
Richie Cunningham:
Well, you can finish it upstairs, Dad.
Howard Cunningham:
What are you doing?
Richie Cunningham:
Well, we have to talk.
Howard Cunningham:
Talk about what?
Richie Cunningham:
I... I don't know... the birds and bees.
Howard Cunningham:
Oh, Richard, we already had that talk.
Richie Cunningham:
[refers to the table] Yeah, and you didn't learn much.
The Fonz:
[Marion has just told off the Fonz and stormed out of the room] I'm gonna hit her.
Howard Cunningham:
No, you're not gonna hit my wife.
The Fonz:
Then I'll hit you!
Howard Cunningham:
You're not gonna hit my son.
The Fonz:
Then I'll hit you!
Richie Cunningham:
You're not gonna hit my father either.
The Fonz:
Well I gotta hit somebody. You know where Potsie is?
The Fonz:
[Richie tries to get Fonz to get rid of a very tall, very big lumberjack] You picked a fight with a red and black tree?
The Fonz:
[punches Richie very lightly on the chin] You're OK, Cunningham, you're OK.
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