两个阿拉伯骑士 (1995) 5.9

The Thief: [as Tack, asleep, sews parts of the Thief's cloak together] He's stitchin' me up like a boot! Sorry kid, this boot was made for walkin'. Zigzag: [as he is being eaten by crocodiles] Ow, my bottom! Ow , my top! Greedy things, don't you ever stop? Zigzag: Oh ffffff-Phido! Phido the Vulture: [screams] You're giving me heart attacks here! Phido the Vulture: [after being poked with the perching stick] What? What, not the stick now! Ohh! The Thief: My father said, "Never say die!" [as the pole that he's on to steal the three golden balls bends:] The Thief: Although, frequently say, "Ahhh ahhhh ahhhh ahhh ahhh!" The Thief: [looks at his reflection in the palace wall] AHHHHHHHHH! The Thief: [flies through the window of a woman's apartment with a rose in his mouth] [Woman screams from inside] The Thief: Ooh... naughty. Phido the Vulture: [squawks] I'm so hungry I could eat a vegetarian! Zigzag: O Great King Nod, have no fear. Zigzag, your grand vizier is here! King Nod: [wakes up] What, what? [bored] King Nod: Oh, it's *you*... Zigzag! The Thief: What a dump! Nobody lives like this except college kids! Nurse: Your bath's ready! The water's getting cold! Princess, he's a Cobbler! Keep your eyes on your work, Cobbler! Tack the Cobbler: Y-yes, ma'am. Tack the Cobbler: [after Princess Yum-Yum and Nanny leave] Nothing wrong with being a Cobbler. Why can't I ever talk when it matters? Phido the Vulture: Heeeeeeeeeeere's Phido! The Thief: Gotta get the ruby off the fat guy's head... gotta get the ruby off the fat guy's head... gotta get... The Thief: [Runs into sign] [Reading] The Thief: "No Prayers Past this Point". Hmmm... [turns] The Thief: [Runs into another sign] They should have a sign, "Beware of Signs"! <

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a name="qt0228805"> Mighty One-Eye: [Zigzag presnts himself before the One-Eye] Sorceror! Mighty One-Eye: I conjure demons, and charm beasts! And birds of prey, too! Phido! Phido the Vulture: [makes Phido through hoops] AWWK! Zigzag: But as you see, that's not all I can do! Haha! Hee-hee! I have power over people, too, though they may appear complex. For me... they fall like playing cards... and I control the decks! [brandishes deck of cards with tricks but they slip up] Zigzag: Ah! Eh-heh! Ho ho! Ah! Hee-hee! But all this is nothing for now in my hand is the very key to the Golden land, for no man can take it, no matter how great, unless he possesses these three balls [presents balls] Zigzag: OF FATE! Mighty One-Eye: You say you can charm beasts? [laughs to himself] Mighty One-Eye: THROW HIM TO THE ALLIGATORS! Princess Yum Yum: [singing] But she is more than this / There's a mind in the body of this pretty miss! Princess Yum Yum: This life I live in regal splendor seems a waste. If I could help Father, instead of just sitting as his side, I'd be doing something useful. The Thief: Everything hurts, why do I do this? [sees the Three Golden Balls] The Thief: Oh yeah! Pain's gone! Princess Yum Yum: Do cobblers have names? Tack the Cobbler: [nods] Princess Yum Yum: Well, what *is* your name? Tack the Cobbler: [holds up a tack] Tack Princess Yum Yum: Tack? Is that your name? Zigzag: And now, O greatest of the great, to rest you from opposive state. I've searched the world and brought you thence, at no little effort and great expence. A play-thing! Princess Yum Yum: [bored] Oh. Zigzag: From far south of Gaza, a bountiful maiden from Zigzag: [whispers lecherously into King Nod's ear] Zigzag: Mombassa! King Nod: [wakes up] Oh-oh-oh! Mombassa! Chief Roofless: May I remind you gentlemen that when in doubt, consult the brigand's... handbook! Princess Yum Yum: [referring to Tack] *Who* is this? Zigzag: O Greatest King of all the Earth, this lowball [uses cane to stop Tack from walking off] Zigzag: cobbler of no worth, attacked me in the square today! Shall we take his head away? King Nod: [waking up] What? No, no, if you really think so, Zigzag.

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Princess Yum Yum

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: But what has he done? Zigzag: [takes tack from Tack's mouth] A*ttacked* me! Princess Yum Yum: *Really*? Zigzag: [hisses] Yes! Zigzag: The camp of the One-Eyes... how very nice! Perhaps *they'll* be willing to pay my price! I'll have those barbarians kissing my feet! [to Phido] Zigzag: And maybe, we'll find you something to eat... eh, Phido? Chief Roofless: [shouts] A CARAVAAAN! Brigand: A caravan! Brigand: Food! Brigand: Drink! Brigand: Women! Brigand: Women! Heh heh heh! Mighty One-Eye: [shouting] ONE-EYES... WIN AGAIN! Zigzag: [Tack has tripped him] Ooh-ow! You great fool! King Nod: [talking on the returning of the Golden Balls which Zigzag ccan supposedly restore with magic] I'll give, you *anything*, Zigzag! Just do it! Zigzag: As my peril will be [face resembles skull] Zigzag: dire, you must grant my heart's desire! King Nod: Which is? Zigzag: I require... sire... your daughter Yumyum [whispers] Zigzag: to wed... her. King Nod: [furious] You want... my daughter? NEVER! Zigzag: Never? King Nod: NEVER! EVER! GET OUT! OUUUUT! Zigzag: Well, I just thought I'd... [Zigzag leaves] Zigzag: We'll see who wins at the end of the day! We'll see who ends up grieving! I'll go to the One-Eyes right away! I'm taking my balls and leaving! Princess Yum Yum: [smells the Thief's odor as she is in the bath] Ugh, maybe the pipes have back up. Maybe something died! King Nod: [wakes up] AAAH! WHAT IF THE BALLS ARE TAKEN AWAY? Zigzag: A *way* has never been found to take them away! What freak of nature could ever ever get up to the top of that minaret? [last lines; original version] Princess Yum-Yum: [to Tack] I love you. [Tack takes the tacks from his mouth at last] Tack the Cobbler: [to Yum-Yum, in Sean Connery's voice] I... love you. [they kiss] [first lines] Narrator: