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"Beavis and Butt-Head"
(1993)
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Beavis:
Yes, yes, fire, fire, fire.
Butt-head:
This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before.
[repeated line]
Butt-head:
This is going to be cool.
[They watch a Yanni video]
Butt-head:
Hey, Beavis. This guy's your dad.
Beavis:
Have you seen my Bunghole?
[In a Third world accent]
Beavis:
My people; we are without Bungholes...
Bradley Buzzcut:
Shut up or I will kill you. Do you understand? Shut up or I will physically kill you.
Butt-head:
[watching Vanessa Williams video] Oooh, baby. Do that thing you do.
[Talking about a scat video]
Beavis:
They should have a name for this kinda of music.
Butt-head:
They already do, Beavis: crap.
[repeated line]
Beavis:
Damn we're smooth.
[watching a Type O Negative video]
Butt-head:
These guys remind me of Danzig and my butt.
Beavis:
That's not very nice, Butt-Head.
Butt-head:
Yeah it is. My butt rules!
Beavis:
[as Cornholio] Do you have T.P. for my bunghole? I would hate for my holio to get polio.
[watching a music video]
Beavis:
Hey Butthead, you know I'd like to kiss my ass.
Butt-head:
Beavis, why the hell do you wanna kiss your ass?
Beavis:
Cos I wanna see what my bunghole looks like.
[he tries and falls of the couch]
Butt-head:
Beavis, you're one pathetic piece of crap.
Butt-head:
Beavis, you're one miserable son of a bitch.
Beavis:
Hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?
Butt-head:
Beavis, it's not even normal to ask.
Beavis:
[about Kato Kaelin] You know, he seems like a great guy.
Butt-head:
Yeah. He's the kind of guy you would call up and say, 'Hey, you're a great guy. Why don't you come on over and stay a while?'
Beavis:
Yeah. Except he kind of looks like the ass-end of a dolphin.
Butt-head:
Uh, yeah he kind of does.
Butt-head:
[Beavis & Butthead after "sensitivity training"] How about a hug?
Beavis:
Shut up! Or I'll wound your inner child! Heh hmmhh heh! And then I'll kick your ass!
Beavis:
[Butthead criticizes Metallica] Say one more bad thing about Metallica and I'll kick your ass!
Butt-head:
This bowling ball isn't human! It doesn't feel pain! It can't be reasoned with!
Beavis:
I hope there's a human head inside!
Butt-head:
Yeah. Or maybe a human butt.
Old Woman:
[looking for her spectacles after losing them] What happened to my spectacles?
Butt-head:
Your testicles? Huh Huh.
Beavis:
[watching a video with a girl in a tub] She doesn't wanna get up because she's got morning wood.
Butt-head:
Uh... Beavis? I hope you were joking.
Beavis:
[long pause] Uh... Oh yeah. That's pretty funny.
Butt-head:
Dumbass!
Beavis:
Hey Beavis, you know how sometimes we get a ride home from school, and there's all those dudes crammed together in the backseat?
Butt-head:
Yeah, why?
Beavis:
Um, heh heh, it is normal to get wood?
Butt-head:
Beavis, you boner-popping pervert... it's not even normal to ASK!
Beavis:
What?
Butt-head:
Uh... I dunno, what?
Beavis:
What the hell are you talking about?
Butt-head:
Uh... I dunno. You're just a butt-knocker.
Beavis:
Don't call me a butt-knocker, you SON OF A BITCH!
Maxi Mart Store Manager:
[seeing Beavis and Butthead reading at a porn magazine] Hey! Are you gonna stare all day or are you gonna buy something?
Butt-head:
Uh, I'm gonna stare all day huh huh.
Bradley Buzzcut:
[throws a dodge ball at Butthead and hits him in the head and dazes him] Good head, Butthead!
Butt-head:
Uh, thanks. Huh, huh.
Woman in music video:
I feel like such an ass.
Butt-head:
I feel like an ass too. Beavis, go out and get me an ass.
Beavis:
Heh-heh, okay. Would you like some boobs to go with that?
Butt-head:
Kick 'em in the nads, Beavis!
Beavis:
Ah, shut up, Butt-Head! Keep that up, and I'm gon' put the smackdown on yo ass, biatch!
Butt-head:
If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn't come back... you're a dumbass!
Beavis:
[shouts] Turds! Turds!
Butt-head:
Where? I don't see any turds.
Beavis:
Right there. In the middle of the circle he's riding his tricycle in.
Butt-head:
[repeated pickup line] Uh, hey, baby.
Butt-head:
Is this Primus?
Butt-head:
Some people are dumb.
Butt-head:
Beavis, I told you I wasn't gonna let you touch the remote anymore. Now, give me that, buttknocker.
Beavis:
No, way. And stop calling me buttknocker!
Butt-head:
Give it here before I kick your buttknockering ass!
Beavis:
Stop calling me that, Butt-head! Stop it!
Butt-head:
Buttknocker!
Beavis:
Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! I'm gonna kill you, Butt-head! I swear to go God, I'm gonna kill you!
Butt-head:
You and what other buttknocker?
Butt-head:
You didn't score.
Beavis:
Yeah, but I came close.
Butt-head:
Yeah, but close only counts in horseshoes and like... lemonade.
Beavis:
What?
[repeated line]
Butt-head:
We're gonna be rich.
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