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新新人类足球队、另类作风酷教练！柴斯特奉老板之命，当由员工女儿组成的少女足球队的教练，为了使原本球技奇差 无比的球队成为明星队，以讨好老板，他不惜利用女友的儿子，把他乔装成女生混入球队，然而，足球队尚未赢得比 赛，却已闹出笑话一箩筐。
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Rodney Dangerfield
演员
饰Chester Lee
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Jonathan Brandis
演员
饰Matthew/Marth...
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Vinessa Shaw
演员
饰Kimberly Mull...
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Jeanetta Arnette
演员
饰Glynnis Mulle...
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Blake Clark
演员
饰Coach Bull
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Chester
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ff5
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:
My name is Chester, I'm great, I'm wonderful! Everybody likes me!
Redneck:
Hey, Chester. My name's Harland, and to me you look like a giant asshole.
Chester:
Well, if I'm an asshole there's a reason for it. You're contagious!
Matthew:
No, he's not a stranger. He's just strange.
Chester:
You've got to change your behavior.
Matthew:
Oh and what'd I do?
Chester:
What'd you do? A girl doesn't give the opposing team the finger and tell their coach, "Up yours!" A girl doesn't refer to the referee a blind bastard. A girl doesn't slap another girl on the ass and say, "You're hot stuff!" And a girl doesn't say "I gotta take a leak so bad I can taste it!"
Chester:
Women are a beautiful bed of flowers.
[punk girl walks by]
Chester:
Of course there's a weed here and there.
Chester:
I dressed her son up like a girl, and invited him to play with me.
Chester:
Coach Bull huh? I know your full name!
Chester:
I finally got some respect!
Chester:
We have a chance. Like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Chester:
Get in the car quick! These heels are killing me!
Chester:
What is this? A drag race!
Chester:
What's the point in being the best, if it only brings out your worst?
Chester:
Well, you know how it is - boys want to be girls, girls want to be boys. Sometimes they're both.
[opposing team scores first goal within 15 seconds of whistle]
Chester:
Wow! The only thing quicker than that is when I'm having sex!
Dr. Von Kemp:
Remember when you get a job make sure your boss is taller than you. That way it's easier to kiss his ass.
Chester:
I read a book once, "100 Ways to Make Love." I ended up in traction, it was a misprint!
Chester:
I'm off to a great stop.
[coaching the girls practicing]
Chester:
Try and control the ball! Forget the ball, try and stay on your feet! Get out of the net, you're not a fish! Pester, you're in a different time zone! Oh beautiful, beautiful!
[looks up at the sky]
Chester:
Why me? Why me?
[Chester is helping Matthew adjust his wig in a dressing room while a lady outside eavesdrops]
Chester:
Just remember, we gotta be careful. I don't want your mother to find out, she'll kill me.
Matthew:
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2b
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God, I can't believe I'm doing this!
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f6b
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Chester:
Don't worry, I'll be finished soon.
Matthew:
Ow! Take it easy, that hurts!
Chester:
Don't worry, if it's too tight you'll get used to it.
Chester:
What a lady. When she walks in a room, mice jump on chairs. At Christmas they hang her and kiss the mistletoe. I tell ya if she went to a dog show, she'd win.
Chester:
Two-story house. Yeah before you buy it they give you one story, after you move in you get another story.
Chester:
I've never saw such beautiful landscaping. Looks like all the trees threw up.
Matthew:
We get along great, we laugh together, we like the same music, the same sports, we get along just great.
Soda Shop Counterman:
Then what's the problem?
Matthew:
She don't know I'm a boy.
Coach Bull:
If you were in my army, I would have you on latrine duty!
Chester:
Hoo! Smells like I'm there now.
Julie:
You know anything about soccer?
Chester:
Not much, all I know is I got a lotta balls!
Chester:
Julie, look at what you're eating, I thought you were getting in shape. What happened to the weight lifting class?
Julie:
Oh I'm doing good. I mean this is heavy.
Julie:
Now he's kissing the daughter's ass.
Chester:
He's playing like a psycho, he's nuts!
Julie:
Looks like Norman Bates is playing soccer.
Chester:
Hey, after the game no showers.
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