Susan: You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire. Teatime: It's pronounced Teh-a-Tee-may, sir. Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom? Death:
You might very well think that I'd already thought of that, but I couldn't possibly comment.
Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom. Death: Humans need fantasy to *be* human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. Susan: With tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Death: Yes. As practice, you have to start out learning to believe the little lies. Susan: So we can believe the big ones? Death: Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing. Susan: They're not the same at all. Death: You think so? Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world. As if there is some, some rightness in the universe, by which it may be judged. Susan: But people have got to believe that, or what's the point? Death: You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become? Susan: Hello inner child, I'm the inner babysitter. Death: Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. Susan: With Tooth Faeries, Hogfathers? Death: Yes. As practice you have to start out learning to believe the little lies. Susan: So we can believe the big ones? Death: Yes. Justice, mercy, duty, that sort of thing. Susan: [Susan is reading the fairy tale "Jack and the beanstalk" to children] And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement and trespass charges already mentioned and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy any more. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done. Which proves that you can be excused just about anything if you're a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions. Susan: You were the kind of little boy who looked up doll's dresses. Teatime: ...I didn't...! Teatime: Do you have many friends, Mr Sydeney? I don't have many... Don't seem to have the knack... Then again, I don't seem to have many enemies either. Death: [half-heartedly] Ho, ho, ho. Albert: No, no, no! It needs to be more jolly; put some life into it... oh, no offense, sir... Teatime: Exhibit B is Banjo. He can talk. Lord Downey: Mr. Teatime, are you telling me you have actually sat down and given thought into how to inhume, Death? Teatime: Everyone has a weakness sir.