绝望主妇 (2004) 6.0

Rex: [having an allergic reaction] You put onions in my salad? Bree: No, I didn't! [looks back at table] Bree: Oh, wait. Karen McCluskey: How old are your boys anyway? [Preston and Porter look at each other] Porter Scavo: We're six. Karen McCluskey: [turns to Parker] Karen McCluskey: And you? Parker Scavo: Five. Karen McCluskey: Wow. Your mom just pops them out, doesn't she? Preston Scavo: How old are you? Karen McCluskey: How old do you think? Porter Scavo: 150. Lynette: Do you know what psychological warfare is? [shakes his head] Porter Scavo: No? Lynette: Too bad for you. Lynette: Hi. My baby-sitter cancelled. Bree: I've got millions of errands to run so... Lynette: Please hear me out, this is important. Today I have a chance to join the human race for a few hours - there are actual adults waiting for me with margaritas. Look I'm in a dress, I have make-up on. Bree: If it were any other day? Lynette: Oh, for Gods sake, Bree, I'm wearing pantyhose. Tom: I love you because you did the right thing, and I admire your bravery. Lynette: And I love you because you find ways to compliment me when you could just say, "I told you so." [They kiss, then Tom says something in sign language] Lynette: You just signed "I told you so", didn't you? Tom: You'll never prove it. Karl: The heart wants what it wants! Susan: Yeah, well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I'm able to control myself! Julie: When was the last time you had sex? [Susan stops what she is doing]

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Julie

ff6

: Are you mad that I asked? Susan: No, I'm just trying to remember. [George has dinner with the Van De Kamps] Andrew Van De Kamp: So, George, can I ask you a question? And it's kind of personal. George Williams: Sure. Andrew Van De Kamp: Have you ever actually been with a woman? George Williams: [chuckling] Excuse me? Andrew Van De Kamp: Well, let's be honest. I think it's obvious by the way that you talk and act that you're not a player, so I was just curious to find out if you had ever actually gotten in the game. George Williams: My experience with women is none of your business. Andrew Van De Kamp: Oh, I think it is. I mean, you're dating my mom. And we both know that at your age, dating's a little more than just holding hands. George Williams: We're not dating exactly. Andrew Van De Kamp: Oh, sure you are. And you know what? I think it's great. But I wanna make sure my mom's happy, you know, and it would really set my mind at ease to know that she's with a guy that knows how to please a lady. George Williams: This is inappropriate. Andrew Van De Kamp: You know, my parents had a great sex life. Man, I heard 'em through the wall of my bedroom once. George Williams: Please shut up. Andrew Van De Kamp: You should've heard my mom, too. She had this... this weird moan. It was kind of like, um... [Andrew makes a moan that's followed by an unh!] Andrew Van De Kamp: Isn't that bizarre? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes. [a dumbfounded George looks at Andrew while Bree and Danielle enter with cobblers] Bree Van De Kamp: Okay, time for cobbler. Sorry, one of the dessert plates doesn't match. I tried to replace it, but it's Spode Florence. It's a rare pattern. It belonged to my grandmother. But hopefully once you taste the dessert, you'll forget all about it. George Williams: I'm not hungry. Bree Van De Kamp: George, you have to have this. It's absolutely scrumptious. [Bree takes a bite] Bree Van De Kamp: Mmm. Mmm! [George looks from Bree to Andrew, who points to Bree and mouths "That's it." George slams his fist and stands up] George Williams: Go to your room! Andrew Van De Kamp: Isn't that weird? That's the sound my mom makes when she climaxes! Bree: Andrew, you remember Reverend Sikes, don't you? Andrew Van De Kamp: Oh, come on. Bree: Um, Reverend, why don't you, um, have seat, and I will get some refreshments? [the reverend sits down at the dining room table where Andrew is sitting and Rex is pouring wine] Reverend Sikes: Ah. So, Andrew, it's been a long time. Andrew Van De Kamp: Yes. Yes, it has. Bree:

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Would you like some water? I have flat or bubbly.