[Ash and Scribbs watch DCI Sullivan walk to his car]
Scribbs: If he turns out to be gay, I'm going to shoot myself. [Ash and Scribbs have reported their progress to DCI Sullivan] Scribbs: Wasn't he wearing that shirt yesterday? Ash: [pulling a coin out of her pocket] Heads, his washing machine's broken. Tails, he's a dirty stop-out. [tosses the coin] Scribbs: Well? Ash: You don't want to know. [Ash and Scribbs have arrived at a school to interview the Headmaster - the bell rings and Scribbs starts running] Ash: What are you doing? Scribbs: Sorry. Force of habit. [Ash and Scribbs have just interviewed a school Headmaster about his murdered secretary] Scribbs: He convinced me. Ash: Bet that's not the first time you made a Headmaster cry. Scribbs: D'you think there's some kind of IQ test you have to *fail* to become an estate agent? Ash: Yeah. It's the same test all my ex-boyfriends failed. [talking about a murder suspect whose house they have just left] Scribbs: Phew! It's a relief to be out in the fresh air. Ash: Scribbs, you're all heart. Well, she's bereaved and she's moving - that's about as stressful as it gets. Scribbs: She's odd. Ash: True. Shocking carpets. Scribbs: Not *technically* a criminal offence. Ash: Well, it should be. [talking about a murder victim] Ash: D'you want to know what Pennyless Phil was doing online all Monday afternoon? Scribbs: Does it involve women with large breasts? Ash: You know, your insight into the male psyche never fails to amaze me. He was on Hot Girlz with a Z for two-and-a-half hours, then on the football results of course, and then back to the Hot Girlz chatroom for 20 minutes. Scribbs: Those online relationships really stand the test of time. [Scribbs has been to a clothing consultant] Scribbs: They look at your hair and your skin tone, and decide what colour your clothes should be. Ash: So what did they say about you? Scribbs: That I was an "autumn" - that I look best wearing subdued tones. Ash: Subdued? Scribbs: Tones. Apparently bright colours don't suit me. The mistake I made was dressing as a "summer". Which is why I've been attracting the wrong kind of men. Ash: So you're saying the right kind of man's attracted to a woman in a mushroom-brown outfit? Scribbs: D'you think I look a bit...? Ash:
No, Scribbs, you look fine. You look absolutely fine.