明星伙伴 (2004) 5.9

Ari Gold: Is that the way they drive in Tiananmen Square, bitch? Turtle: Check out the tits on the girl from "Extra". Ari Gold: Let's hug it out, bitch. Ari Gold: Call me Helen Keller because I'm a fucking miracle worker! Vince: [talking to Eric at a Hollywood party] Look at where we are. Did you ever think we'd have this? Justine Chapin: [Justine and Vince are flirting in a club] You're gonna have to work for it. Vince: I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work. Ari Gold: I thought you already were his manager. Because believe me I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't. Eric: Yeah, I know I am, but I want to do it for real, you know? I want to have the conversation, lock it in. Ari Gold: So you come to me for advice. I'm gonna fucking cry. All right, here's what you do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them. Eric: He doesn't need me that much. Ari Gold: Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point. Eric: Then what is the point, Ari? Ari Gold: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful, and wear the crown. Ari Gold: [getting off the couch] [shouts] Ari Gold: Lloyd! Ari Gold: [pulling envelope out of drawer] In this envelope, there are the names of eight agents. If anyone catches you, eat it. Nod if you understand me. Lloyd: I understand. Ari Gold: You can't just fucking nod? Lloyd... I want you to... to swear your undying loyalty to me. Lloyd: Ari... Ari Gold: Listen to me, Lloyd, do you want to make it in this business or fold shirts at a Chinese laundromat? Pledge. Lloyd: I pledge my undying loyalty to you, Ari. Ari Gold:

8c

Good. Now, I want you to go to each of these agents - discreetly - and say the words "tse-tse fly". Say nothing else. Now go.

fd6

Lloyd: Ari, are you leaving the agency... Ari Gold: *Silence* is fucking golden, Lloyd. Go. Ari Gold: Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, *everything* into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner's mask, and a fucking spike paddle, don't think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey! Adam Davies: [Adam Davies reveals himself to be the traitor within Ari's coup d'état] You should be a nicer person. Maybe then people wouldn't fuck you. Ari Gold: You talked, Davies? Ari Gold: [Davies turns away to leave] Hey, Adam. Adam Davies: Yeah, Ari? Ari Gold: Just so you know, your girlfriend, when she was in the mailroom, offered to blow me. True story. Ari Gold: [Ari doesn't want Vince to do Queens Blvd] You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinne? Nothing! They don't give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box? Eric: Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could. Vince: I do have great balance. Ari Gold: [comes out of office. Emily follows and they continue walking throughout] Where am I going? Emily: Ari, you're 20 minutes late already. Ari, I need to talk to you about something. Ari Gold: Walk with me. Emily: Vince and the guys are going to a party at Josh Weinstein's. Ari Gold: Who's Josh Weinstein? Emily: Are you joking? He's your old assistant. Ari Gold: I have *many* old assistants. Emily: All right, two before me. Before Jackie, after Jerod. Ari Gold: Ah-ha - my "J" phase. I think I fired him for stealing pens. Why do I care about Josh? Emily: Wellm now he's an agent at Triad. And he's the one who gave the boys Queens Boulevard. Ari Gold: [Ari turns on a dime and starts back to his office] That's why no more guys! You fire a guy you create a rival. You fire a woman you create a housewife. Emily: [still following] That's sweet. You're still late. Ari Gold: Hold all my calls. And get Mini - Vince on the phone. Eric: [Emily is Ari's assistant. She and Eric have broken up. Eric walks to her desk] Hey. Emily: [into intercom] Pizza boy's here. Eric: Really? Eric: Really. Eric: [sighs and enters Ari's office] What's wrong with her? Ari Gold: From now on ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants. Eric: How'd you know that?

27

Ari Gold