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Kelly:
[about his father] He's a VH1 documentary without the music.
Lance:
Why are you dicking with me, you little dick. You wanna play, dick face?"
Kelley:
Wait, you just used "dick" as a noun, adjective, and a verb.
[after Kelly speaks out in class]
Principal Holmstead:
Kelly we have to stop meeting like this.
Kelly:
I mean, it's not my fault the teachers here suck.
Principal Holmstead:
Growing up is a hard enough thing as it is.
Kelly:
Is that what your box of tissues is for?
Principal Holmstead:
How am I ever going to get through to you?
Kelly Ernswiler:
Well, advertising executives use status and sex to appeal to my demographic.
Bart Bowland:
You need to stop living in a fucking fantasy world.
Kelly:
So you invited me to your wedding?
Tabby:
[crying] There isn't going to be a wedding. Minor kissed this woman he works with.
Kelly:
Honestly, I didn't think you two were right for eachother. Like that painting. When you walk in you know exactly what it is, but when you look at it closely...
Tabby:
I don't need your bullshit right now.
Kelly:
I'm just trying to understand you, Tabby.
Tabby:
I'm not as complicated as you think.
Kelly:
I didn't say you were complicated.
[Tabby starts to cry, and Kelly goes to sit next to her]
Kelly:
Don't cry. Please, don't cry.
Tabby:
[laughing] You like me, don't you?
Kelly:
Of course.
Tabby:
No, like, you really like me.
Kelly:
I think your amazing.
Kelly Ernswiler:
A funny thing just happened to me. I thought you were dead on the couch.
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