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"The Last Detective"
(2003)
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[looking at a suicide victim in the mortuary]
Dangerous Davies:
Are you sure that he's dead?
Pathologist:
Well I do have his brain in a jar here. So I presume he's dead... or he could be a detective constable working in North London.
[Mod Lewis has just joked that Dangerous Davies is starting to lose his hair]
Dangerous Davies:
What do you call a row of rabbits marching backwards?
Mod Lewis:
Dunno.
Dangerous Davies:
A receding hare-line!
Dangerous Davies:
I think I'm being stalked.
Mod Lewis:
I knew a woman who wouldn't leave me alone. She'd follow me everywhere, buy me clothes and give me money.
Dangerous Davies:
Did you go to the police?
Mod Lewis:
No. It'd be a cruel man who'd turn in his own mother.
Dangerous Davies:
Fancy a pint?
Mod Lewis:
Well, I've never seen an unattractive one.
[Dangerous is trying to give Mod a driving lesson. As Mod is changing gear, he crunches the gears]
Mod Lewis:
That didn't sound too healthy, Dangerous. When did you last have this thing serviced?
Dangerous Davies:
[yells] Clutch! Clutch! Depress the clutch! And I don't mean tell it your life story.
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