John Q. Archibald:
The hospital is under new management now! Free health care for everyone!
John Q. Archibald:
I AM NOT GOING TO BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME!
Denise:
They are releasing him, now you need to do something! DO YOU HEAR ME! DO SOMETHING!
John Q. Archibald:
My son is dying, and I'm broke. If I don't qualify for Medicare, WHO THE HELL DOES?
Freddy B:
We got sound! Boss! We got sound!
Tuck Lampley:
What about picture? We need picture!
Freddy B:
Hold on boss, I'm gonna make you famous!
Lester:
[laughing in realization] I get it, you a member of the Slapaho Tribe.
Mitch:
This country man, can't go anywhere without getting' mugged, or murdered or stabbed. Kids killin' their classmates, drivebys, ya know, I won't even go into a post office any more.
Steve Maguire:
Shut up, Mitch.
Dr. Turner:
No, you shut up. I hate the little bastard but he's right. You know how easy it is to get a gun in the country? In five minutes, boom, gun show.
Denise:
[to Rebecca Payne, the hospital administrator] I would tell you what I think of you, but I am a Christian woman.
Mike Archibald:
No goodbye, you know I don't like goodbyes. See you later!
John Q. Archibald:
Who was driving?
Mitch:
What?
John Q. Archibald:
In the car. Who was driving?
Mitch:
I was. What the hell does that have to do with anything?
John Q. Archibald:
How come your girl's all banged up and your not?
Mitch:
What do you make of this?
[shows light scratches on arm]
Mitch:
.
Lester:
[Laughs] .
Mitch:
What?
Lester:
Somebody get this fool a band-aid. I don't want you to bleed to death.
Mitch:
Fuck you man. This shit hurts.
John Q. Archibald:
What kind of car do you drive?
Mitch:
Mercedes 500.
John Q. Archibald:
You drive a Mercedes 500?. What year?
Mitch:
1986. It's a classic.
John Q. Archibald:
Mercedes didn't make passenger side air-bags til 1988.
Lester:
[Laughs] BUSTED!
Max Conlin:
So what? Are you just gonna go in there and offer yourself?
John Q. Archibald:
Only one thing is gonna stop me.
Max Conlin:
Yeah, and what is that?
John Q. Archibald:
If Mitch is B positive.
Mitch:
Oh Hell no. Uh-uh. No way baby.
[Everybody laughs]
John Q. Archibald:
See you in the funny papers.
Lester:
[to Mitch] You put the hit on that girl and everyone here knows it.