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"Monk" Mr. Monk and the Candidate: Part
(2002)
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fc5
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Adrian Monk:
[surveying a crime scene] Stove.
Lt. Gitomer:
Over here. It's in the kitchen.
Adrian Monk:
No... I mean MY stove. I-I think I left it on.
Captain Stottlemeyer:
[referring to Monk] How does he do it? I have two eyes, I see everything that he sees, but... I don't see what he sees.
Miranda St. Claire:
Is-is this a joke? Someone tries to kill my husband and you send in Rain Man?
Miranda St. Claire:
Tell me, Mr. Monk, do you lie awake at night thinking of ways to disrupt my husband's campaign?
Warren St. Claire:
Now, Miranda...
Adrian Monk:
No ma'am, I lie awake at night and try not to think at all.
Adrian Monk:
How tall are you?
Captain Stottlemeyer:
Six feet.
Adrian Monk:
Really.
Captain Stottlemeyer:
Five-eleven.
Miranda St. Clair:
I'm told you're germophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, crowds and... milk.
Sharona:
We're working on the milk. He's making good progress on milk.
Adrian Monk:
Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not...
Sharona Fleming:
How does it feel, always being right?
Adrian Monk:
Terrible.
Sharona Fleming:
What is THAT?
Adrian Monk:
It's something called "style". You wouldn't understand.
Sharona:
You're going straight to hell.
Adrian Monk:
I am in hell.
Capt. Stottlemeyer:
This isn't police work. This is Vaudeville.
Adrian Monk:
[about a strange painting in a suspect's office] It's me, isn't it?
Sheldon Burger:
I just came from the hospital. Bodyguard didn't make it. Mayor's on his way back from Sacramento. Look, I don't have to tell you, Captain. We're on a bus to hell. If we don't slam dunk this...
Captain Stottlemeyer:
I understand.
Sheldon Burger:
It's gonna look like we're not trying.
Captain Stottlemeyer:
I'm not an idiot, Sheldon! I've got every available man on the case.
Sheldon Burger:
No, you don't. Mayor wants you to bring in... your old friend.
Captain Stottlemeyer:
[disbelieving] MONK?
Lt. Randall Disher:
Look who's here: "The Defective Detective."
Captain Stottlemeyer:
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I wanted to make this crystal clear; you're here because the mayor thinks you can walk on water. But you're a civilian now, Monk. When I'm in there, I talk, you say nothing, understand? Look, Monk, when I took your badge three years ago, I told you nothing would give me more pleasure than to see you reinstated, and I meant that. But you're obviously not ready.
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Adrian Monk:
Is that you talking, or the uniform?
Captain Stottlemeyer:
l AM the uniform, Monk. You didn't understand that back when I was your watch commander.
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