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Doctor Tran:
You've been in a coma for six years. Your brain has found a new way to work.
Johnny Smith:
Who's President?
Bruce Lewis:
George Bush.
Johnny Smith:
Bush? Bush... again?
Bruce Lewis:
Son. Long, long story.
Reverend Purdy:
I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
[On Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura, who was a professional wrestler in the '70s]
Johnny Smith:
Let me get this straight. They elected a professional wrestler for governor?
[His therapist fills him in on other things that happened since 1996]
Bruce Lewis:
What else? Oh... Bill Clinton... got busted for getting head in the Oval Office from a 22-year old intern.
Johnny Smith:
The dog ate your computer?
Bradford:
Actually, I was going for rats.
Johnny Smith:
When did I turn into Boo Radley, huh?
Johnny Smith:
I had the perfect life until I was in a coma for six years. And then I woke up, and found my fiancé
[pause]
Johnny Smith:
married to another man. My son
[pause]
Johnny Smith:
doesn't know who I am. Everything has changed, including me. One touch
[pause]
Johnny Smith:
and I could see things. Things that happened. Things that will happen. You should see what I see...
Dr. Janet Gibson:
We've done everything we know how to do.
Bruce Lewis:
But you haven't done everything Johnny knows how to do.
Johnny Smith:
We've put a man on the moon, but we haven't come up with a hospital gown that doesn't totally humiliate you.
Johnny Smith:
You're a figment of his imagination.
Death:
Oh, please, don't get personal.
Johnny Smith:
I know Walt. Trust me, he wouldn't like peace.
Johnny Smith:
This mine seems to know me by name.
Walt:
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Johnny Smith:
Wish I knew.
Walt:
What the hell's "turducken"?
Bruce Lewis:
Oh, the next thing you'll be telling me there's no such thing as Santa Claus.
Alex Sinclair:
You mean the fictional character created by New York City merchants at the turn of the century to encourage people to buy material goods?
Bruce Lewis:
I can't handle this.
Bruce Lewis:
[holds up his hand] This is Johnny's Dead Zone.
[claps]
Bruce Lewis:
This is Johnny's Dead Zone on drugs-scrambled eggs!
Jill Deer:
You know what's funny about this?
Johnny Smith:
Not much.
Johnny Smith:
Worst case scenario, I'll break out the blow torch and we'll fire that sucker up from the inside out.
Alex Sinclair:
What happened to forgetting about commercialism and searching for inner peace?
Johnny Smith:
What are you, crazy? This is Christmas in America.
Johnny Smith:
I thought you hated last-minute shopping.
Alex Sinclair:
Who can resist taking down a couple of dishonest soccer moms?
Sara:
Trimming the tree's the best part of Christmas.
Johnny 'JJ' Bannerman:
Not better than presents.
Walt:
Or turkey sandwiches.
Johnny 'JJ' Bannerman:
Or pumpkin pie.
Walt:
Or turkey sandwiches.
Santa:
[to the cooking Bruce] So, who are you, Betty Crocker?
Johnny Smith:
A female psychic, Santa Claus with amnesia, and the cast of Oliver! Not exactly a Norman Rockwell painting.
Johnny Smith:
[to Sara] Why didn't I marry you? Oh, right, I was in a coma.
Walt:
[about Santa incorrectly reeling off reindeer names] Randolph?
Johnny Smith:
Forget it. He's on a roll.
Johnny Smith:
Let's go eat this turducken thing.
Johnny Smith:
Go answer the door.
Johnny 'JJ' Bannerman:
But it didn't ring.
[doorbell rings]
Johnny 'JJ' Bannerman:
cool.
Alex Sinclair:
And I thought who else do you know that might be on his own this time of year?
Johnny Smith:
And you thought of me.
Dana:
Airline company's always your best friend right after the plane goes down.
Johnny Smith:
You seen every John Wayne movie?
Walt:
You betcha. The Duke rules.
Bruce Lewis:
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You're always wrapped up in this 'Chicken Little' thing.
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Johnny Smith:
Who's Chicken Little?
Dr. Tran:
We know less about how the brain works than any other organ in the body. What seems to be clear is that your brain has found a new way to work. It's taking a detour around the damage and tapping into a region of the brain that humans don't normally use to handle sensory perception. In anyone else, this part of the brain might be considered a dead zone. In your brain, the dead zone is suddenly very much alive.
Dr. Tran:
Johnny, as a neurologist, there's only one thing I know less about than the brain.
Johnny Smith:
What's that?
Dr. Tran:
Your brain.
Johnny Smith:
Okay, one of my visions was a little off.
Bruce Lewis:
'A little off'. Do you understand what it means in the context of the rest of humanity for your brain to be 'a little off'? That puts you in another galaxy far, far away.
Johnny Smith:
Do you believe in miracles, Reverend?
Reverend Purdy:
I'd have to, or I'd have to find a new line of work.
Sara:
Don't do anything foolish.
Johnny Smith:
Yeah, that's me. John 'Don't do anything foolish' Smith.
Conrad:
Are you a religious man?
Johnny Smith:
I am today, Conrad.
Conrad:
[talking about Sara] She's still got feelings for you.
Johnny Smith:
Why do you say that?
Conrad:
C'mon, what kind of psychic are you?
Dana Bright:
Johnny Smith. You had to go and piss off Mayberry.
Johnny Smith:
I can understand you.
Shaman:
When we die, we all sound the same.
Dana:
Tell me you weren't holding Sarah's hand while you were making love to me.
Reverend Purdy:
I know this isn't the life you would've chosen. But is the life that has chosen YOU. And you cannot deny the possibility that some other force is guiding you, choosing what you see.
Johnny Smith:
Just say his name Reverend, I know you're dying to.
Reverend Purdy:
Destiny, Johnny. It is your destiny to help people. I truly believe that.
Greg Stillson:
How's my future look these days?
Johnny Smith:
Not always so easy to tell.
[while watching Greg Stillson discuss politics in Washington, DC]
Johnny Smith:
Did he just say "diddle"?
Johnny Smith:
One thing I've learned about you, Gene. If you don't know the people, then you know the people that know the people.
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[Inviting Purdy to the carnival]
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Johnny Smith:
I promise not to take you anywhere near the Hoochie Coochie Show.
Reverend Purdy:
Ah, the Hoochie Coochie Show is my bread and butter!
Greg Stillson:
Now, Sonny, you know we can't hide anything from Johnny Smith.
Sonny Elliman:
He's been asking questions about you.
Greg Stillson:
The wrong kind of questions?
Sonny Elliman:
Not just that. It's like he already knows what he's looking for.
Greg Stillson:
[turns and stares at Sonny] The psychic thing freaks you out, doesn't it?
Greg Stillson:
Anything about me in there?
Johnny Smith:
Uh, no, this is the sports section.
Greg Stillson:
No, I mean, is there anything about me...
[points to Johnny's forehead]
Greg Stillson:
In there?
Greg Stillson:
Gene Purdy seems to think you're the greatest thing since Christian Rock.
Greg Stillson:
I'd call first, but I figure you'd sense I was coming anyway.
Reverend Purdy:
Just what in God's name are you doing?
Johnny Smith:
Oh Gene, I do so many things in God's name. You're going to have to be more specific.
Johnny Smith:
What are you, the Vince Lombardi of existentialism, man?
Johnny Smith:
There's still time.
Greg Stillson:
Guess we never know what our fellow man is capable of, do we?
Reverend Purdy:
[stares at Stillson] No. Only God knows what we're truly capable of.
David Lewis:
Deliver him from his sins, and let him partake of Thy redemption
Tiny the Biker:
[after beating up Jack Jericho, he stops his fellow bikers] No! That's enough! Don't descend to his level. Now, let's go. We got a love rally to get to.
Johnny Smith:
We were always twenty minutes late to every movie we went to! How did ET get to Earth? I don't know. Why did the Empire strike back? Beats me.
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