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史蒂芬与他古怪的双亲及姐姐海蒂住在郊区，家人们都很爱他，但并不了解他，他的愿望只是找一个还不错的工作及碰到一个好女孩，但是他的家人都认为他是傻子，他的朋友认为他没救了而且警察认为他有罪。他要怎么改变世人对他的观点并得到心仪女孩的青睐？
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Heidi:
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Because every klezmer band in town is booked and I desperately need a band. But if I hire you, you have to be willing to "hora". Is that a problem?
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Fannie:
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Oh man, at this point I'd fuck anyone.
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[Family dinner, with Lorena and daughter as guests]
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Heidi:
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[to her mother, Fern] What're you, apologizing to her? She's an unwed mother.
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Fern:
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Better an unwed mother than just plain unwed.
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Fannie:
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I bought a gift for you.
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Steven:
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Oh, no.
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Fannie:
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Actually, I lifted it from Borders. But it's perfect for your date. It's classical music.
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Steven:
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Oh, thanks!
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Fannie:
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Yeah, when you get Lorena alone, put this on. Classical music makes women horny. Just trust me on this one.
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Steven:
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Thanks. "Best of John Philip Sousa".
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Fannie:
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Yeah. Chicks dig it.
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Fannie:
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You can fuck me if I'm wrong!
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Steven:
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No, That's okay.
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Steven:
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I look both ways when I cross the street.
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Heidi:
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[about Michael going in jail] Serves him right. I hope you rot there, fucking loser.
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Fern:
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Heidi! That loser was almost your husband!
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Heidi:
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Why can't you get it into your head he's a psychopath?
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Fern:
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I'm *sure* he is. But he's also a very successful accountant.
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Fannie:
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D'you know our high school reunion's comin' up? Ten years... D'you know how depressing that is? D'you think I don't wanna slash my fucking wrists when I think about that? Goddamn it!
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Fannie:
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Steven, you drive like my fucking grandma! Wait... that's actually an insult because my grandma drives better than you do!
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Heidi:
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Steven?
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[Enters Steven's room and sees him in his underwear, with his dummy dressed as a child]
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Heidi:
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... Gross! You look like a child molester!
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Fannie:
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[after being thrown out for throwing a tantrum in a Target] Fucking suburbanized shit!
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