Francis Doyle: That's all? Newsie: Man, that's enough to melt an elephant. Tim: Excuse my friend. He thinks he wants to melt two elephants. Sister Assumpta: Blake. A little advance don't you think? Tim: Not really Sister. It's written simply enough for a six year old. Sister Assumpta: So are the instructions for a handgun. Tim: I burned all the skin off my hands. I can barely curl my fingers now. Francis Doyle: There goes your sex life. Sister Assumpta: But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits. Joey Anderson: It's Major Screw going at it with an evil warrior babe. Tim: Going at what? Joey Anderson: 69. Wade Scalisi: That looks more like 47. Naturalist: The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird. Newsie: Hey it's the altar boys. Here to get altered? Francis Doyle: Damnit Sullivan, I don't believe it, we just knocked out a cougar with a K-Mart blow gun! Tim: Alright, seems like the perfect spot for deciding what you really want in life. Francis Doyle: My own comic book bigger than anything the Marvel agency has... Tim: No, I'm talking about what you really want right now, like revenge on the one legged bitch in black and white! Francis Doyle: [yells] Margie Flynn! Tim: Shit. I knew it, Margie Flynn. Margie Flynn: I used to let Donny do... things to me. Francis Doyle: What kind of things?
: Everything. Francis Doyle: Wait, Donny who? [pause] Francis Doyle: Donnie, your brother? Tim Sullivan: You've got to aim lower. [Donny tosses the ball hard into Tim's groin] Donny Flynn: That low enough? Tim Sullivan: Not as low as fucking your own sister. Tim: Don't you ever tell me to get real. I know what fucking real is okay. Francis Doyle: When you look at me, I can hardly breathe. Naturalist: That's a very thoughtful question... Tim: Risk leads to greatness. Joey Anderson: That's not true guys, cus there is a bone in your penis, thats why they call it a boner. Wade Scalisi: oh, oh yea you're right... SHUT UP! [hits Joey] Joey Anderson: what was that for? Wade Scalisi: You're an idiot. Francis Doyle: Hey Joey, didn't you say something about a wet washcloth? Joey Anderson: ...Yeah. Francis Doyle: I think I found your girlfriend! Father Casey: Jesus H Christ! Tim: What does the H stand for Father? Tim: Are you with me here, altar boy? Mrs. Doyle: [Francis is drawing a girl, remarkably resembling Margie] Girlfriend? Francis Doyle: I don't have a girlfriend. Mrs. Doyle: From the body, I'd guess Farrah Fawcett-Majors. From the face, I'd say that Flynn girl. Tim: Serious trouble beats serious boredom.