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"Footballers' Wives"
(2002)
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Jackie Pascoe:
Going out with a page three model is one thing but getting married to one is embarrassing.
Frank Laslett:
I think you should be my agent, I'm the one who needs an image makeover.
Hazel Bailey:
Sorry Frank, even if you gave both your kidneys to dying babies you'd still smell like a septic tank.
Hazel Bailey:
You're late.
Jason Turner:
Yeah... traffic
Hazel Bailey:
Car knocked over a cyclist outside Piccadilly tube, you, being a good Samaritan stopped and dialed .. if you're going to make an excuse, spin it so you win it.
Tanya Turner:
Just when Chardonnay was beginning to think you might be a human bloody being!
Jason Turner:
Chardonnay... thinking?
[Laughs]
Jason Turner:
What, with her singed tits?
Jason Turner:
I hope your freakoid baby dies, Kyle!
Tanya Turner:
Just a friendly warning for the future, you go anywhere near my husband again and it'll take more than Botox to sort your face out!
Jason Turner:
All right Lara Croft?
Freddie Hauser:
Oh, so you are still speaking to me after I drop kicked your testicles down the back of your throat?
Amber Gates:
You're more of a cat person are you not?
Hazel Bailey:
I've always loved my pussy.
Tanya Turner:
I've decided there is only one man for me..."Charlie".
Hazel Bailey:
Come on love, let's be fair to dicks, they're great bits of tackle.
Tanya Turner:
It's what's on the end of them that's the problem.
Hazel Bailey:
I know that's why I keep mine in my handbag.
Amber Gates:
I can't believe she's having a Caesarean now, she knows I'm in labor
Janette Dunkley:
Her little one's in distress
Amber Gates:
So would you be if you were her baby.
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