旅程 (2002)

Beverly:

So, Alan tells me you're a homosexual.

Tommy Ballenger:

Only because there was nothing good on television.

Beverly:

Well, I just find it so intriguing.

Tommy Ballenger:

Not always, Liberace for example.

Beverly:

Liberace is a homosexual?

Tommy Ballenger:

Sadly, yes.

Tommy Ballenger:

So what do you two have planned on the menu, a menage-a-trois?

Beverly:

Oh, no. Alan hates French food.

Peter Baxter:

Could you be any more of an alcoholic?

Mary Oakley:

Well I'll try, but no guarantees.

Peter Baxter:

I respect all of Alan's interests, I just don't like having them shoved down my throat.

Tommy Ballenger:

Did you take the little bus to school?

Tommy Ballenger:

So what made you want to become a writer?

Alan Oakley:

It's always been my dream since a child. When did you first realize you were gay?

Tommy Ballenger:

It's always been my dream since a child.

Mary Oakley:

That's the first time I've heard you complain about my son shoving anything down your throat.

Peter Baxter:

I'm not quite sure how to take that.

Mary Oakley:

Said the altar boy to the bishop.

Tommy Ballenger:

[to a reporter] I'd like to make a deal with the Anita Bryant people. You stop telling lies about us and we'll stop telling the truth about you.

Tommy Ballenger:

What part of fuck off, drop dead, go to Hell, you're not getting a Christmas card did you not understand, hmm?

Michael:

He opened his mouth, and Judy Garland's purse fell out.

Tommy Ballenger:

What do you want?

Alan Oakley:

I want to say I'm sorry.

Tommy Ballenger:

Absolution granted, go with God. We're done.