Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Sh...

Judy Garland: I've got rainbows coming out my arse Judy Garland: I cannot take myself seriously. Because if I did I would have died a long time ago. And I dont want to die, dispite what you might have heard. Judy Garland: Oh, for God sakes, Liza, can't you see Mama's busy? Judy Garland: He adores me and I need to be adored. Judy Garland: Since I was twelve years old they've been taking me out the closet and winding me up to sing and stuffing me back in again. Well maybe I don't feel like singing. Judy Garland: I'm only *really* at home in the light of the spotlight. Judy Garland: [on the phone] Yes I've heard how difficult it is to work with Judy Garland. Do you know how difficult it is to BE Judy Garland? I've been trying to be Judy Garland all my life! Judy Garland: Uninsurable? Uh-huh?... of course I can do eight shows a week, I did eight shows a day in vaudeville... well even the greatest performer in the world can occasionally catch a cold and miss a performance! Let me tell you something: I have been in show business for forty years. That's thirty-five movies, six hundred radio shows, seventeen hundred concerts...! Difficult? Yes, I've heard how difficult it is to work with Judy Garland, do you know how difficult it is to *be* Judy Garland? I've been trying to be Judy Garland all my life! Narrator: It's hard to be a legend's child. She's everywhere I turn like a shadow. It's remarkable, really, how much of our life begins before we're even born. I wonder sometimes what might have happened to us all if mama had just stayed Baby Frances Gumm... but she wasn't allowed to. She became Judy Garland. She became a legend. Narrator: It hurts when your mother is too sick to take care of you. My mother was handed her first dose of medication when she was a child. Hard work and pills had robbed her of her childhood, now those pills were beginning to destroy mine. I was beginning to understand the connection between her behaviour and her medication. Young Judy Garland: Do you think I'm pretty, Mr Edens? Roger Edens: Pretty doesn't come from the outside, Sugar. It comes from right here... [points at Judy's chest] Roger Edens: ...and what you've got in there is beautiful. You're Frances Gumm. Young Judy Garland: I'm not Frances Gumm, I'm Judy Garland! Roger Edens:

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Well, when you sing, I wanna hear Frances Gumm, that's who Judy Garland really is... and Frances Gumm has one of the best voices I've ever heard.

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Young Judy Garland: I get so scared sometimes, Mr Edens. I don't know where that voice comes from. Roger Edens: It's a gift. Young Judy Garland: But... [whispers] Young Judy Garland: does that mean that it can be taken away? Lorna Luft, age 6: No matter what happens... everybody loves you, Mama. Head of CBS: [talking about Judy to his staff, apon cancellation of the Judy Garland Show] I know she can seem difficult, she's as fragile and insecure as a child. But she is also one of the greatest talents any of us will ever get the chance to work with, please keep that in mind. She needs to feel loved. If you do nothing else, make her feel that you love her. [Lorna is learning how to take care of her mother] Michael Sidney 'Sid' Luft: If she oversleeps and misses a dose, she could go into withdrawls or pass out or have a seizure. Young Lorna Luft: What do I do? Do I call the operator? Michael Sidney 'Sid' Luft: Honey, listen to me. *Never, ever* call the operator. You can call the doctor or better yet, call me in LA, *but you do not call the operator when your mother is Judy Garland*. Roger Edens: When you sing, I want you to just be yourself Young Judy Garland: [whispers] But nobody likes who I am Mr Edens Judy Garland: I'm not Lassie. I'm not even Dinah Shore. If you want the girl next door, go next door. Narrator: It broke Mama's heart when CBS cancelled The Judy Garland Show. So, in the finest Gumm family tradition, we packed up our trunks and took the family act back out on the road. Mama *had* to keep working to pay off her debts, but work required more than she had left, and that meant more amphetamines to carry her through. Young Lorna Luft: [in hospital after her collapse] I have to see Mama Michael Sidney 'Sid' Luft: [forcefully] No Young Lorna Luft: I have to make sure she's ok! Michael Sidney 'Sid' Luft: And who's going to be there to make sure *you're* ok?