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"McLeod's Daughters"
(2004)
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Claire McLeod:
What Alex? It's just a boob.
Alex Ryan:
Yeah but it's a breastfeeding boob, not a GROPING boob.
Becky Howard:
Men! You can't live with em, you can't shoot em.
Claire McLeod:
Well if Clint Eastwood turns up to save us - tell him to rack off.
[Tess has spent the night at Alex's looking after "his" baby which had been dumped on his doorstep]
Claire McLeod:
I would put money on you having a problem.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Yeah well, getting rid of fornicating pests is quite appealing this morning.
Claire McLeod:
You ready for another beer, Maid Marion?
[laughs]
Alex Ryan:
Yeah thanks Nick.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
[laughing] What?
Claire McLeod:
It's his middle name.
[everyone laughs]
Alex Ryan:
Yeah it's Marion, right yeah, go on get it out of your system, have a good laugh.
Alex Ryan:
[drunk] I love you, Claire. I love you more than my chopper.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
You are feeling guilty, aren't you?
Nick Ryan:
So take advantage.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Oh, I intend to.
Dave Brewer:
Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep.
Nick Ryan:
Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock full of pregnant sheep.
[after the shed exploded during the fire]
Nick Ryan:
If you wanted to get rid of the shed you could've just knocked it down
Alex Ryan:
I'm no expert but I reckon you're jealous. You don't like the idea of sharing Tess with anyone else, do you?
Nick Ryan:
You're right. You're no expert.
Claire McLeod:
Put it away mate
Alex Ryan:
Get out of here, I'm a man, she's a woman.
Claire McLeod:
Thanks, so what does that make me?
Alex Ryan:
Why you're a... you're a Claire
Alex Ryan:
I love it when you talk dirty
Tess Silverman McLeod:
After Claire admits stealing a stamp at school. Nerd crimes don't count Claire.
Claire McLeod:
Have I ever mentioned Sandra Kinsela
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Well, no
Claire McLeod:
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33
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There's a reason for that... I hate her guts.
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fd6
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Dave Brewer:
Turn it up, we're taking over.
Claire McLeod:
I talk to you.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
But I'm not a single attractive, interesting man.
Claire McLeod:
Well spotted.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
With the internet the whole worlds just one big village.
Meg Fountain:
And your the village matchmaker.
[about the boot that Claire is using as a stand in for the baby]
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Junior must take after your side of the family.
[after finding out that Harry and Sandra are sleeping together]
Nick Ryan:
Look on the bright side
Alex Ryan:
There isn't one Nick
Nick Ryan:
At least you didn't sleep with Sandra.
[looks over at Alex, his face tells a different story]
Nick Ryan:
You didn't.
[after a man claiming to be Jack's son turns up]
Terry Dodge:
That man sowed enough wild oats to make porridge.
Stevie Hall:
Do me a favor.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
You do me one. Butt out.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Why are you being such an idiot?
Nick Ryan:
Why are you being so gullible?
[after Nick tell him and Sandra there will be no more personal abuse]
Alex Ryan:
You stupid git.
[about Alex's attitude towards Sandra]
Nick Ryan:
Do you realise you are in a 'mine's bigger than yours' competition with a woman
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Perhaps she thinks alpacas are cool
Jodi Fountain:
Yeah, it seems a pity to shatter her illusions
Tess Silverman McLeod:
You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron.
Nick Ryan:
Well then try this, we're over.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
We never began.
Nick Ryan:
Well fantastic, we agree.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
Yeah you bet we do.
Jodi Fountain:
I am beginning to wonder if Stevie is seriously mentally unbalanced
Stevie Hall:
We've got to check the water pumps, even the mentally unbalanced have to work.
Nick Ryan:
Stairs or Sandra - either will kill you.
[Nick after Harry tells him he has to be able to make it up the stairs, without stopping before he can get "intimate" with Sandra again]
Nick Ryan:
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89
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Shopping, these people are truly evil, if we stay her long enough we might see them doing something really depraived like cooking.
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c3e
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[Nick as he and Alex watch Peter's family trying to dig up dirt on Peter]
Stevie Hall:
Claire had really bad taste in men.
Tess Silverman McLeod:
What about Alex?
Stevie Hall:
Like I said, she had bad taste.
Dave Brewer:
[after mistakenly gelding Harry's horse] If I never touch a horse's testicles again it will be too soon.
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