"McLeod's Daughters" (2004) 3.1

Claire McLeod: What Alex? It's just a boob. Alex Ryan: Yeah but it's a breastfeeding boob, not a GROPING boob. Becky Howard: Men! You can't live with em, you can't shoot em. Claire McLeod: Well if Clint Eastwood turns up to save us - tell him to rack off. [Tess has spent the night at Alex's looking after "his" baby which had been dumped on his doorstep] Claire McLeod: I would put money on you having a problem. Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah well, getting rid of fornicating pests is quite appealing this morning. Claire McLeod: You ready for another beer, Maid Marion? [laughs] Alex Ryan: Yeah thanks Nick. Tess Silverman McLeod: [laughing] What? Claire McLeod: It's his middle name. [everyone laughs] Alex Ryan: Yeah it's Marion, right yeah, go on get it out of your system, have a good laugh. Alex Ryan: [drunk] I love you, Claire. I love you more than my chopper. Tess Silverman McLeod: You are feeling guilty, aren't you? Nick Ryan: So take advantage. Tess Silverman McLeod: Oh, I intend to. Dave Brewer: Maybe we could pose with some stock... like the sheep. Nick Ryan: Sure that'll look great! three naked guys and a paddock full of pregnant sheep. [after the shed exploded during the fire] Nick Ryan: If you wanted to get rid of the shed you could've just knocked it down Alex Ryan: I'm no expert but I reckon you're jealous. You don't like the idea of sharing Tess with anyone else, do you? Nick Ryan: You're right. You're no expert. Claire McLeod: Put it away mate Alex Ryan: Get out of here, I'm a man, she's a woman. Claire McLeod: Thanks, so what does that make me? Alex Ryan: Why you're a... you're a Claire Alex Ryan: I love it when you talk dirty Tess Silverman McLeod: After Claire admits stealing a stamp at school. Nerd crimes don't count Claire. Claire McLeod: Have I ever mentioned Sandra Kinsela Tess Silverman McLeod: Well, no Claire McLeod:

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There's a reason for that... I hate her guts.

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Dave Brewer: Turn it up, we're taking over. Claire McLeod: I talk to you. Tess Silverman McLeod: But I'm not a single attractive, interesting man. Claire McLeod: Well spotted. Tess Silverman McLeod: With the internet the whole worlds just one big village. Meg Fountain: And your the village matchmaker. [about the boot that Claire is using as a stand in for the baby] Tess Silverman McLeod: Junior must take after your side of the family. [after finding out that Harry and Sandra are sleeping together] Nick Ryan: Look on the bright side Alex Ryan: There isn't one Nick Nick Ryan: At least you didn't sleep with Sandra. [looks over at Alex, his face tells a different story] Nick Ryan: You didn't. [after a man claiming to be Jack's son turns up] Terry Dodge: That man sowed enough wild oats to make porridge. Stevie Hall: Do me a favor. Tess Silverman McLeod: You do me one. Butt out. Tess Silverman McLeod: Why are you being such an idiot? Nick Ryan: Why are you being so gullible? [after Nick tell him and Sandra there will be no more personal abuse] Alex Ryan: You stupid git. [about Alex's attitude towards Sandra] Nick Ryan: Do you realise you are in a 'mine's bigger than yours' competition with a woman Tess Silverman McLeod: Perhaps she thinks alpacas are cool Jodi Fountain: Yeah, it seems a pity to shatter her illusions Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron. Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over. Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began. Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree. Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do. Jodi Fountain: I am beginning to wonder if Stevie is seriously mentally unbalanced Stevie Hall: We've got to check the water pumps, even the mentally unbalanced have to work. Nick Ryan: Stairs or Sandra - either will kill you. [Nick after Harry tells him he has to be able to make it up the stairs, without stopping before he can get "intimate" with Sandra again] Nick Ryan:

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Shopping, these people are truly evil, if we stay her long enough we might see them doing something really depraived like cooking.