Vulgar (2002) 5.2

2b

Will Carlson

fdb

: I'm... I'm a party clown for kids. Ed Fanelli: All right, ass on the bed now. [in William's face] Ed Fanelli: If I gotta tell you again, the wind is gonna be whistlin' Dixie through a hole in your face, you fuck. Me and you are goin' to bed together, that's a fact. I'm gonna make hate to you. Will Carlson: Shine bumbers if you want. I'm sure you'll make a killing. But that's how it all starts - crappy job here, crappy job there. Next thing you know, you're living on the dole, wondering where your life went. Your problem - zero patience. Syd Gilbert: You're right. I should make MY living dancing around like a mongoloid on a bad acid-trip for a bunch of spoiled little dickheads. Syd Gilbert: I'm gonna be flyin' solo soon. I got a job. Will Carlson: Where? Syd Gilbert: Tuott the Basehead hooked me up at "Suds 'N' Stuff" over the weekend. Will Carlson: Watch yourself on that corporate ladder... Syd Gilbert: Listen to this bull. Is that YOUR limo I saw parked outside? Driving around in that little shitbox... Will Carlson: Hey! That shitbox totes YOUR ass to-and-fro. Martan Ingram: First of all, it's not a "what", it's a WHO. And HE is making a big splash, orca-style. Ed Fanelli: Oh, that's it. I'm out of here. I'm gonna go see my boys. We're going bowling tonight. League Champs, I might ad. Jenny: Oh, I could care. You know, do they even HAVE social lives? I have never seen two grown men so obsessed with hanging out with their father, instead to trying to get dates or attempting to meet women. Ed Fanelli: Well, maybe that's what we're doing when we go out, ever think of that? Jenny: Please. Who would possibly be interested in YOU? I can't believe I was for that one fleeting moment. Ed Fanelli: Oh, yeah? You know, that front door hasn't moved. Will Carlson: Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong place. Ed Fanelli: Not if you're ready to get down. [Will is knocked to the floor] Ed Fanelli: Looks like you are. Martan Ingram: How'd you like to be a part of one of the biggest milestones in children's television? Gillian: Well, frankly, Marty, I'd love it. Kinda missed my window, wouldn't you say? I mean, "Sesame Street" has been on the air for some time. Martan Ingram: I'm talking about a NOW show. I'm talking about Flappy. Gillian: OK, first of all, what's a "Flappy?" Martan Ingram: First of all, it's not a "what", it's a WHO. And HE is making a big splash, orca-style. Wilma Carlson: You know what you are, William? A whole lot of nothing. Ed Fanelli:

2b

[lights his blowtorch]

e9d